Wednesday, May 05, 2004

Bill (allegedly) and Steve were in town...

A true story (well, artistically enhanced a little...).

Let me set the scene for you: Yesterday. The lobby of a plush Tel Aviv hotel. Bill Gates and Steve Ballmer of Microsoft are in town for a quick visit.

Bill Gates: "Shit, Steve, did you happen to bring some of my business cards with you?"

Steve Ballmer: "Hey Bill! Nice haircut! Hang on a sec, me old mate, I'll have a look..."

Bill Gates: "You'll save my bacon if you've got a few spare.... I was playing with my Playstation, er, I mean X-box, last night and I forgot to pack some for today's flight to Israel. You know how pedantic those Israelis are about business cards..."

Steve Ballmer: "Holy cow! I'm sorry me old china, I don't have any of yours OR MINE! What are we gonna do?"

Bill Gates: [sobs heartily]

Steve Ballmer: [thinks to himself: This could be a job for mrs. anglosaxy] Don't worry Bill, I think I have the answer. I'm not just a pretty face..."

Bill Gates: [laughs heartily]

Steve Ballmer: [slides off to a corner and takes out his mobile, frantically punching in a series of numbers] "Er, mrs. anglosaxy, your highness, sorry to trouble you, but do you think you could possibly help us out? This is Steve Ballmer of Microsoft, I know you only work with [whisper] Mac, but me and Bill are in town and are stuck without any business cards. Please, please, please help us out, just a few will do!"

Mrs. anglosaxy: "Micro-who? Go on then, you caught me on a good day. I'll have to stiff you a hefty bill, of course..."

Steve Ballmer: [overcome with relief] "OH MY GOD! You are too good to be true! Bill, it's alright...Bill?" [scans the lobby for Bill Gates, who is exiting the lobby a distraught man] "BILL! Hang on!"

Bill Gates: [wiping his eyes] "It's no good, Steve. I'll never live it down. How could I let it happen? I, I'm going back home. Just don't let them know I was here as well..."

Steve Ballmer: [on his knees, hands in air, emotions raging] "BILL, don't do this do to me! I don't want to be photographed with that Bibi fella alone! You bastard!"

Bill Gates: [walks dramatically off into the sunset...]

For proof that Steve Ballmer was here without Bill Gates, see this. For proof that mrs. anglosaxy printed out business cards for both Steve and Bill, well, you'll just have to take my word for it...