Thursday, December 31, 2009

So that was 2009...

...and it was quite an eventful year for us anglosaxies. The biggest event of the year happened in the final month, a certain new addition to the ranks at anglosaxy castle. Here he is, little JuniorMarkII, otherwise known as Daniel.

He has brought a certain amount of action to the house, and, er, a few sleepless nights. But he's a great little kid, pretty relaxed and doing great.

We also moved out of Tel Aviv. Oh yes, The City That Never Sleeps is now having truly sleepless nights, as the Galilee welcomed us with open arms into the cradle of moshav living. We moved two months ago, and from what I've seen so far, I like it A LOT. The kids are having a great time too, and the missus is very happy, so all's good...

Work-wise I haven't stepped back into the pits of a corridor for quite a few months. I've been doing freelancing gigs here and there, and building up the world famous (see the best posts of 2009 here). I also worked on something over the summer connected with Twitter, but thanks to some stupid, stupid developers, I ended up wasting way too much time on it without any real results. Never mind. Unfortunately, it looks like I might have to step back into the depths of corridordom, and with an offer on the table from a particularly big company, I might have to take it. Tis all about the money innit.

Anyway, this blog will continue, just for the 3 people who sometimes drift by. Posts won't be regular but because Google loves this site, it will get updated. For those of you who understand, then great, for those of you who don't, just ignore this paragraph.

Happy New Year to you and yours!

Monday, November 23, 2009

Blimey! Another thrilling episode in my tale of how I ended up in Israel!

You can tell Christmas is coming, eh? I'm about to unpack the tinsel and Christmas tree, but first had to get this episode off my chest: Episode 11 of How I ended up in the Holy Land. But I promise, not a mention of Christmas, not even once...

And an early Christmas present for all my readers - this is me, back then, looking moody and magnificent. Nowadays it's less of the magnificent and more of the moody!

Sunday, November 08, 2009

The saga continues of how I ended up in Israel...

Here's yet another episode - Part 10 - of just why I ended up in the Holy Land and stayed...this time it's back to something familiar, but with exciting stuff just round the corner...

Tuesday, September 08, 2009

The story of how I ended up in Israel continueth...

Oh yes, even more good stuff about some pasty white English lad landing in the Holy Land. And staying. So it's time for Part 9 - the summer of 93! The best summer of my life!

Friday, September 04, 2009

Madonna's concert in Tel Aviv: a review

So, the Queen of Pop paid Israel a little visit this week. In fact, she's still here. So Mads, if you're reading, nice job love! And can I touch those biceps?

Seriously, a knockout concert, the lady knows how to put on a performance. If you have the chance to catch her live, go and see her (although you'll have to wait for the next World Tour now, as the Tel Aviv gigs were the last of her tour). I was well impressed.

And here's the full review of the Madonna concert in Tel Aviv over at, go check it out.

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

That time again. Are you sitting comfortably?

Time once more for another episode of my tale of how I ended up in the Holy Land, episode 8! Bleedin' 'eck, is it ever going to end?? Read it and weep baby!

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

School is out. For good.

Well, that's it for the old English school in smallsville. I packed up this last week and finally lugged the yellow sofa out with a friend's MPV. I peeled off the branded window posters lovingly created by the missus, even swept the floor. But...there's nobody moving in to take over.

I couldn't find somebody to take it on even with the potential that is there in smallsville. Should have taken that big cash offer I had a few months ago, but you live and learn. I thought the business was worth more than the offer, so didn't snap it up.

And there's nobody taking over the lease of the shop, so the landlord is left footing the bill for the foreseeable future. The Recession has kicked in at smallsville, although the numbers of people wanting to learn English has not dropped. It really is a recession proof business, especially the kiddies market.

But for me, right now, it's not the right business. Maybe in the future, who knows. I've probably got all the tools to start it up again, much faster and much better. We shall see.

Meanwhile, I've saved all the best students for one afternoon a week, either sat in coffee shops or at their homes. Might just have to drink a beer and teach English at the same time...damn shame.

Monday, July 27, 2009

How I ended up in Israel - Episode 7!

Wow, episode 7 - is this ever going to end?! Some more good stuff, this time how and why I make an unexpected return to England. And not a deportation paper in sight! Enjoy!

Thursday, July 23, 2009

My new baby

Being without regular employment takes some getting used to, especially after being pampered for the last 10 years in hi-tech. But hey, I'm enjoying it. And again, hats off to Corridor Land, who helped pay for this little thing below, because no employment means no company car means we had to go out and buy's a Mazda Premacy, by the way.

Friday, July 17, 2009

Echoes from a corridor

Say what you want about Corridor Land, and hey, let's face it, I pretty much did, they have surprised me for the good yet again this week. Yes indeed, Corridor Land.

Let's say I was a little surprised when my bank called and said I had a dollar deposit in my account, and wanted to know if I'd like to convert it to shekels. I asked "Who the feck is sending me dollars, and so many of them?" and was delighted to hear her spell out the name in English - "C-o-r-r-i-d-o-r-L-a-n-d".

Apparently the options I bought upon leaving the place had come to fruition and that meant another chunk of cash in my bank account. This is the last one though, unfortunately. Full of shit they may have been, but administratively they run a tight ship, you've gotta admit.

I would of said the drinks are on me, but my overdraft swallowed it all up. Sorry innit.

Monday, July 06, 2009

4 The Dude

Today my boy hits the ripe old age of 4. Pic below isn't the best quality, but it's the best I have from his 4th birthday party in the kindergarten. Junior, you are the dudest dude I know, I hope you have a great great day and get all the presents you want (he actually received them all already!).
Love you loads,
Daddy anglosaxy

Wednesday, July 01, 2009

How I ended up in Israel...And stayed. Part 6!

As promised, more tales from my early days in the Holy Land, now we've reached Part 6. This time Saddam is defeated, but another Iraqi threat looms on the horizon...

Monday, June 29, 2009

Catch up

OK, so it's hot and sticky round here, innit. And I have some personal shit going down which is limiting my time a little and taking away a bit of the focus that I thought I'd have. News to come on all that, but until I get the nod from the guys in black suits, I can't let you know. Could be good news, could be bad, it's kind of all in the balance as we speak.

Had one of the hardest days of my life a couple of weeks ago when juniorette had to go in for a biopsy and they knocked her out for a few minutes. Ain't ashamed to say I had a tear in my eye when I left her on the hospital bed with her eyes rolling back as the anaesthesia took hold. Feckin' hard, I can tell you. A big respect goes out to all those parents who have really sick kids. My little princess looks like she has Celiac, which basically means a gluton-free diet for the rest of her life. Final confirmation on that next week. But Celiac is definitely a lot easier than some ailments out there, so we're not too upset, it's more of a learning mission on what foods she can and can't eat. We'll get there.

I have a fair amount of free time, which I'm devoting to the Internet and some freelancing here and there. And I can't wait to have the kids finish kindergarden this summer. The beach and my kids are so going to love each other this August!

That free time involves trying desperately to keep to a daily routine on the site and blog, which is almost holding up amid ever-growing numbers. Much higher numbers than I ever got here on anglosaxy by the way...and I'm also dreaming of launching a footie site all about English footie and footballing wives, but it's a question of time. If anyone fancies joining forces with me on it, I'd be willing to strike up some kind of partnership to get it kicked off. Let me know if you're interested.

And no, not even looking for a "proper" job. After being humiliated by geeks anonymous at an interview at one of the big boys, I don't want to force myself into that shit again. Only if I really really have to...a long way down the road...

Yalla, off to write Part 6 of my adventures...will post a link here when I'm done.

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Part 5 of my tale of how I ended up in Israel. Time for the Scuds!

Time for a return to the days of Saddam Hussein and Scuds and gas masks. And plenty of beer and feeding calves on moshavs. Here's Part 5 of my story of how I got to Israel, and stayed.

Wednesday, June 03, 2009

There's more! Part 4 of my story of how I ended up in Israel

Time for yet another episode of love and, er, travelling on boats. Here's Part 4 of my story of how I got to Israel, and stayed. Offers invited for screenplays, as long as Bar Refaeli is cast as my first Israeli girlfriend.

Sunday, May 31, 2009

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Part 3 of my tale of woe and joy - how I ended up in Israel!

Time for another rip-roaring adventure, here's Part 3 of my story of how I got to Israel, and stayed. Pictures are from a pre-digital era, so excuse the quality, innit.

Monday, May 18, 2009

Got to pay the bills

Went for another job interview this afternoon. Wasn't too bad, just didn't feel any chemistry despite my efforts at being fairly charming. The hours are good though and the work is fairly easy from what I saw, so it could keep the wolves from the door for a while. Had to do yet another test to prove my worth, but this one was probably the easiest test I've ever done. We'll see if anything comes of it. Had to pay 27 shekels parking (for 2 fecking hours only!) which really pissed me off, while the potential company's refusal to pay for it hopefully won't be a sign of things to come...if we get any further down the road...

Anyway, tomorrow you'll have another episode of my adventures to read, you have been warned!

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

The Depeche Mode concert in Israel: a review

Well, the event of the year has come and gone, at least for me anyway. Forget about the Pope, he's just an old Christian geezer here to stir up trouble, I'm talking about 3 lads from the home land, otherwise known as Depeche Mode.

This is a band I've grown up with over the last 29 years, and a one constant in my ever-changing life. Always loved them, probably always will. The show on Sunday was a big moment, not just for me, but for many Israelis. If you want to read my full, bodylicious review, see here.

And here's a clip of It's No Good, recorded by moi, arm hoisted high...enjoy!

Monday, May 11, 2009

How I ended up in Israel. And stayed. Part 2!

OK, so here's Part 2 of my rip-roaring yarn. If you missed it, click here for Part 1. Enjoy! Part 3 coming soon...

Sunday, May 10, 2009

Sunday, May 03, 2009

How I ended up in Israel. And stayed.

OK, so I thought it was time to tell the whole story. The truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. It's a multi-episode rip-roaring tale of why I came to the Holy Land, and why I've ended up staying. Click here for Part 1. Enjoy! Part 2 coming soon...

Thursday, April 23, 2009

Line up line up

So, it's official, I'm an unemployed bum. I signed on a couple of weeks ago and this week was my first visit to the finger scanner. Oh yes, technology galore these days, you just place your finger on the scanner, wait for the OK and then get a little slip that tells you whether you need to go and see a clerk who may have a job for you or whether you can go home (nice little home icon!). But first, you have to wait in the bleedin' long queue, there's a lot of unemployed Tel Avivians out there!

For the first time in my time in Israel, it has to be said: Israel has grasped the queue concept (just maybe). I was quite impressed with the orderly fashion and speed in which they got through the line. Oh yes Israeli bureaucracy - we feckin' love you!

And you will be relieved to know that I got the home icon.

Saturday, April 18, 2009

Tuesday, April 07, 2009

End of the winning run

So, this unemployment malarky is actually not too bad. The best part about it is not having to rush into a place every morning that you don't give a toss about. The worst part is having to worry about paying for the petrol and actually having to think twice about driving somewhere. That is a killer, especially when for the last 9 years or so I've had my petrol bills taken care of.

What am I up to? Well, a few things, including a lot of work on, a fair bit of tweeting, and a top secret project or two that have actually got started and may even prove profitable. Needs more work though, of course. I will divulge more when the time is ready.

I also went for a Tech Writer interview last week at a 3-letter named company. Really didn't want the job but felt I had to go, 1) to get some practice and 2) to show the HR company that I made an effort. Interview went well, just couldn't see myself working for a boss who couldn't even look me in the eye when he was talking to me. Fucking mad. And not even sure I want to go back into cubicle world, it will only be for a part-time position that suits me, nothing else. Anyway, got a call a couple of days ago, they didn't want me, were looking for someone with more experience in their industry, "No worries" was my reaction. But I think this is the first time I've been rejected for a job I went for in the last 9 years. So, my almost perfect streak has come to an end...damn shame. But my beers are tasting sweeter these days, which is so much more important, innit.

Wednesday, April 01, 2009

Big Dicks

The salesman said "Hold a dick in your hands" without even blinking. Spotted somewhere in south Tel Aviv.

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

School's out

After trying to find a buyer for the school over the last few months it looks like I'm going to let it just run out its lease in the summer and get the hell out. I do have another interested buyer, but she appears to be just like the rest - why is it that all interested parties seem so uninterested and so void of enthusiasm for taking on a new venture? I swear, if you have an ounce of business umph in you, and you like teaching, this place could be a goldmine. But I don't care anymore, the school is just sapping my energy where I need it in other places...

Another reason why I'm losing interest: customers who don't pay on time. I have one woman, we (I send a teach there) go to her house (just down the road) and teach her and then her son. She currently owes me 4 months money and her last reason for not giving me the cash was that she didn't have any cheques. And yes, this woman is the BANK MANAGER of one of the biggest banks in Israel. I called BOLLOX on the "no chequebook" story and went bonkers on her over the phone. Or at least I left her a nasty message, because she's not answering my calls either, the bitch. Frankly, she is a pain in the ass client, always has been, but because of her lauded position as a bank manager she really is a nasty piece of work. But I won't let her get away without paying, don't worry. I have no shame in going to her door and demanding it.

As you can see, a drain on my energy, which is being put to its limits elsewhere...time for me and the school to say Ta-Ta!

Friday, March 06, 2009

Stuff you can't get on Facebook and Twitter

Blimey, time flies dunnit! Here I am, back in the Holy Land for a few days, busy as a bee but forgetting to let you know...smack my wrists baby, smack 'em! Anyway, some brief updates for you, stuff you can't see on my Facebook, Twitter or website...

  • Enjoyed Blighty a lot. I want to live there for a bit. Fuck the economy, we can make it over there. Maybe.
  • That snow was feckin' amazing.
  • Am now officially unemployed in Israel, but yet to sign on at the dole office.
  • Open Spacey have sacked my old boss too. I didn't shed a tear.
  • Miss my company Ford Focus, now driving the wife's Applause.
  • Enjoying Tel Aviv's centenary deal for over 70's - they get free parking all over Tel Aviv, so I've been busy abusing the old blue and white kerbs. The wife's car is registered in her father's name, in case you were wondering.
  • Have just purchased my first website, and plan to create another one and buy more. The empire is expanding. This could be my new profession.
  • I'm doing way too much laundry at home. But still the wife is on my case. It's OK, it's her job.
  • Am thinking that blogging as we know it is dying. That pesky little Twitter is going to take over the world. Maybe.
  • Purim. Kids. Costumes. Expense.
  • Met my old pal O this week for a coffee (it was too early for a beer). She's now a coach and hobnobbing with the rich and famous.
  • Am very tempted to cancel my cable TV subscription. Very very tempted.

May God and a wee dram of Jameson bless you all!

As per Michael Jackson, I'll be back for my Farewell tour too. Or should that be a Comeback? Who cares, you haven't got rid of me just yet!

Sunday, February 15, 2009

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Off to sunnier climes

Yeh, right. Sunny climes, that'll be England alright. Anyway, I'll be sure to have my sunglasses ready for the dazzling sun as me and junior land in Heathrow later today. Yep, a lads weekender (actually just over 3 weeks), the boys are off to hunt while the women stay at home. I'm going to be checking things out a little bit to see if Blighty is still worth the effort. Not sure this is the right time of the year to be doing this, but timing-wise, everything has fallen into place at the Israel end (give or take a botch job by the Ministry of Interior's amazingly crap online passport service, which managed to postpone this trip by a week or two), so...

Going to miss juniorette like crazy, maybe even the missus, but also looking forward to some time away from the Holy Land. Should help me sort my head out, maybe once and for all. Either that or it's a labotomy.

So take care me lovelies, I'll probably be tweeting and igoogling quite a bit, so if you get lonely over here you know where to find me...

Thursday, January 22, 2009

Waltzing Bashilda

Managed to squeeze a viewing of Waltz with Bashir into my busy schedule today. A great movie, and considering I don't usually enjoy Israeli movies, that's a big compliment. I loved the animation, the soundtrack, the story. Not a surprise that this has won a Golden Globe already and is tipped for Oscar stardom. Go see.

Saturday, January 17, 2009

Isn't this supposed to be pink?

So got my dismissal papers on Thursday. I was extremely disappointed that they weren't pink, as sayeth the legend. But, of course, not exactly unexpected. I even had a "hearing" where I got to say what I wanted. I didn't dish the dirt too heavily, but threw a barb or two at my immediate boss. And if my immediate boss thinks I really give a shit about his hard times (oh dear, you've been demoted to 60%), he really hasn't learnt a thing about me over the last year and a bit. And fuck those illusions of solidarity - who are you trying to kid? I know he shmoozed and bullshitted his way into keeping some sort of a position at Open Spacey because it's waaaaay too comfortable for him to give up...and I also know that he's totally looking out for himself in other ways, fuck the underlings...

Anyway, I'm just waiting for my passport from the Israeli Ministry of Interior to arrive and then me and junior are off to Blighty for some footie and chocolate and beer. And to check a few things out. But more of that later. In the meantime, it's down the gym again and again, footie on the TV, beer...oh dear, I can sense a pattern forming!

Monday, January 12, 2009

Gooners in training...

"Don't worry bruv. It's all gonna come good, promise! And so what if we don't win anything for a few years? Just 5 more years and you'll be legible for the schoolboys innit, and we've all seen you volley my Dora dolly behind the sofa countless times, so, come on bruv, keep it together... Hang on, what's that in your ear? Bamba? Daddy? Daddy, I want Bamba! Dadddddy, I want Bambaaaaa!"

Wednesday, January 07, 2009

And now, the time has come...

So, the credit crunch has come to roost round my way. Kind of indirectly, but in the last few days, very expected.

After rumours spread by washerwomen (largely my direct boss, the rumour mongerer supreme) that Open Spacey was about to go belly up, a hastily arranged meeting yesterday surprised most of us. The company was selling out to an American company with much deeper pockets, but, unfortunately a few people were probably not needed. Namely the Technical Writing department, me and my boss, plus maybe another one or two.

Another meeting today, filled with ultimate management speak bullshit, informed me that my chances of staying employed with this new company are 60-40 against. Now, I'm no manager, but isn't that one hell of a pep talk! Keeping me motivated to the very last...fuck 'em.

I'm not upset by this move although I was hoping I'd still have a job for the next 2-3 months while I head over to England for a quick trip. But I'm amazingly positive, the missus was a bit shocked when I told her last night but soon saw that everything will work out.

If it does mean the end, which I'm entirely convinced it does, I'm sure something else will turn up. I also have the school where I can take over more teaching, a semi-regular freelance gig etc. Let's face it, there are people in far worse situations than mine.

Viva la anglosaxy!

Saturday, January 03, 2009

Twittering on

Wow, was that really my first beer of 2009 this afternoon? Holy Moses...

So, in my attempts at taking over the Inter world, I've gone and got twittered. I'm not sure of the benefits and have a feeling it's just another time waster, but it's one of those tools that you have to try, especially if you're trying to get the word out on the Web. Quite interesting that you can come across the tweets of people like John Cleese and Jonathan Ross (presuming they're kosher, innit).

So, if any of you out there are twittering on and feel like following my escapades, feel free to click on the Twitter icon below. I promise to reciprocate. Maybe.