Holiday season

Tomorrow I'm going to have to tell my boss that I want 3 weeks off, as anglosaxy becomes anglosine (I'm off to China next Sunday, without mrs. anglosaxy - shock, horror, gasp!). I'm not quite sure how I'm going to put it as it's kinda short notice...but hey, I have some 30 days holiday due and I've finished my tasks. Why didn't I tell them sooner? It's a long story, but I have some airline connections and they promised to help me out with a cheap ticket. That help didn't materialise until last week...
Mmm, how do I put it?
Hi boss, just thought I'd let you know that I'm off for 3 weeks next week. Take it easy and I'll send a postcard.
OR
Hi boss, is it OK if I do a bunk for 3 weeks. I have been working my arse off the last few weeks and I think it's the least you can do to give me the OK.
OR
Hi boss, how are you this fine morning? Can I get you a cup of coffee, tea? Perhaps a newspaper? I like your shoes, very smart, suits a fine executive type like yourself. By the way, did I tell you that I've been called over to China for a Technical Writing seminar? What, you didn't get my email? Shoot, I've already given them the OK and bought the tickets out of my hard-earned, if depreciating, salary...