It's Christmas time...isn't it?

Xmas time in Israel is non-existent, save for the odd pub/hotel catering to a touristy crowd. If I don't make it to England, I usually miss it badly. Aaah, all those Xmas trees, the cold, cold evenings spent fighting your way through the shopping crowds, the same 10 Xmas songs played over and over again on the radio, the Wizard of Oz on the BBC...I know most people in Blighty are sick of all the hype and endless advertising by the time December even starts, but you never realize how much you love something until it's gone. I love Xmas, always have and always will.

I've even managed to brainwash mrs. anglosaxy into loving it (couldn't be down to all those pressies...could it?), and we usually end up celebrating Xmas Day in Tel Aviv, somewhere...I think she has come to understand that it is an important day for me, much like I realize being with her means celebrating Pessach (Passover) and the Jewish New Year (to name just a couple). She even helps with decorating the tree, the good Jewish girl that she is. But then I buy the matza bread for Pessach and hang up the bunting for Israeli Independence Day. As you can tell, a real melting pot of cultures at the anglosaxy castle.

Celebrating Xmas does get harder and harder, especially when you no longer mix in the tourist crowds, or those same tourists you once partied with are now elsewhere or settled down in suburbia. But Xmas is something I will never give up on, wherever I am in the world. That will mean a good few beers, accompanied with a Xmas type movie, and possibly a quick visit to MASH or Molly Blooms. This year's movie is currently being downloaded...and it is: Bad Santa.

This year Xmas falls on Saturday, which might mean a Friday night Xmas Eve session drifting into Xmas Day proper. So, if you spot a lanky guy wearing a Santa hat strutting his stuff in Tel Aviv, just slightly inebriated, come over and give me a kiss/handshake, whichever option suits you best. A man's gotta do what a man's gotta do, and if that means getting all fired up by Wham's "Last Christmas", it's gotta be done...

I do hereby promise, that if one day I do open my own pub, Xmas will be celebrated in style...mince pies, sausage rolls and even mistletoe. Make your reservations now!

And time for a Xmas joke I think:

It is Christmas Eve and this chap is on a rooftop about to jump off. His wife is leaving him for another man, he has lost his job and he owes thousands of pounds to the bank. Just as he finishes his prayers and closes his eyes, ready to jump,Father Christmas taps him on the shoulder.
"Are you OK?" asks Father Christmas. The man explains why he is so miserable and gets ready to jump."Stop!" shouts Father Christmas. "It's Christmas, I will grant you three wishes to solve your problems on the understanding that you will grant me a small favour in return!"
"Would you?" the man replies. "That would be wonderful!!...Thank you."
Father Christmas promises him that:
1. You shall go home in 1 hour and your wife will be dressed in her sexiest underwear, begging for forgiveness and longing for your return, she will have no recollection of her new boyfriend.
2. You shall go into work tomorrow, sit at your desk and continue withyour work. Your salary will have increased by 50%. Also, nobody will have any recollection of your sacking.
3. You shall go to your bank and you will be ten thousand pounds in credit, you will have no outstanding bills.
"Oh thank you, thank you!" says the man."What is it that I can do for you?"Father Christmas asks the man to drop his pants and bend over. After a quite brutal rogering, which made his eyes water a little, Father Christmas asks the man how old he is. "36" replies the man."Ho, Ho, Ho, You're a bit old to believe in Father Christmas aren't you!?"chuckled the fat gay b*stard in fancy dress...