Is that a cucumber in your pocket?

I just scoffed a banana and had a flashback. Back to Blighty I flew, in the wink of an eye...

I was sweet 16. Looking for some extra readies. On my summer hols. Found an ad in the local paper. Looked promising. Shop assistant required. To sell fruit and veg. I needed some readies. I've mentioned that already. Went for an interview. Spoke my poshest English. They laughed. Told me to lose the accent. The job was mine. I put on me Cockney best. Worked like a charm. Soon knew me plums from me pears. And how to bag a pound of apples. "A pand of golden delish please love". It's all in the wrists. Breaking boxes out back. That's a skill. Push down flaps, fold, pile. Strange boss. Married but liked his teenage male workers. You know what I mean. Hand on knee. Not appreciated. Learnt to steer clear. His sister. Mmm. Strange old hag. Also fond of the teenage male workers. First this one. Then that one. Pregnant one minute. Abortion the next. Ugly, too. Managed to nab one in the end. Married with a nipper in the wink of an eye...

...and sssshhhlack I was back in the Promised Land.