Wednesday, March 28, 2007

When needs must

Come on then, what's the most desparate situation you've ever found yourself in when requiring a pee? I think I might just have crossed an unmarked boundary yesterday afternoon...

It was all going so smoothly, a couple of beers on Banana Beach with O (she's having difficulties in deciding whether to return to the rat race or be a bum, and came to me for advice - ha! crazy girl...) before driving off to smallsville for some English lessons. I remember glancing at the toilet on my way from the beach and thinking "shall I?...nah, I'll make it to smallsville, no worries...". Big fucking mistake.

As I set off for smallsville, I met the mother of all traffic jams on the way out of Tel Aviv. Minutes rolled by. And it was then that the urge to pee started to nag. And nag. And completely bug the hell out of my kidneys. Look, I can usually hold back from peeing, even after 4 or 5 beers, but this time I was completely caught unawares...yep, there I was, all fidgety and hand in groin, trying not to think of waterfalls and the Med and ice-cream...and constantly looking for an escape route, one where I could just stop my car and throw myself into a bush...

And then I saw it. The empty bottle smiling gleefully at me on the back seat.

I think you can guess what's coming...

Yep, I opened her up and let go. Fuck the other cars around me, I just couldn't take it anymore...ahhh, blissssssssss...minimum spillage too, which was quite a feat if you ask me...just have to remember to throw the bottle away before mrs. anglosaxy uses the car...she's quite fond of lemonade and might just take a swig...ewwwwww...