The Irish bar(s) will have to wait...

The anglosaxy tribe will be returning to Tel Aviv...but not for another two months. We got an extension on our current place that gives us another two months, which actually helps us out A LOT. So homeless and yad2 have been given the cold shoulder for the moment, but I'm sure we'll be back there at the end of this month. Though from what I saw over the last few weeks, it's going to take some work to find the right place...there are some seriously shitty places out there going for a whole lot of dosh...

Babysitter 4 Hire

I know I shouldn't really do this, but fuck it...

Irresponsible adult seeks babysitting work.
Guaranteed to leave your kids 'home alone' until 2am while secretly going to the pub. Can also leave your sleeping infant with total strangers while in search of a cup of coffee. Additional options of pipe smoking and ouzo intoxication (for your infant).

For further information, contact anglosaxy's father-in-law.

Sleepless in Smallsville

Aaaand he's back...After a total of 1 hours sleep over the last 2 nights, I'm on a strong diet of Turkish coffee this morning. Plus chocolate chip cookies.

I won't tell you how wonderful it is to be a Dad to 2, because, quite frankly, it's hard work. I won't even mention the first week of juniorette's arrival, with myself and junior disgustingly sick (lots of seriously smelly nappies...and that was just me...). Only the mother-in-law kept us going those first few days. I know, hard to believe, but those mother-in-laws come in handy sometimes.

I would have posted more pics, it's just the computer at home has gone on maternity leave...the bastard. So no Internet for a couple of weeks, except for the couple of afternoons when I was teaching in Smallsville.

Anyway, 'tis good to be back. Things will hopefully be getting back to normal round here pretty soon, just a teeny slice of patience and I shall be flooding with you with useless daily posts and pics. Coz I have a lot to say and show...

Because you're gorgeous...

Oh Gawd, I'm so mushy at the moment...

Ella, 1 day old

Hello darlin'!

After a long couple of days, I can finally say "It's a girl!"
Mrs. anglosaxy, you truly are a special lady! Now, where's my dinner?
Pic to come...

Dry run

Contraction spotting hit a peak last night, every 5 minutes and getting more and more painful. So we legged it over to Tel HaShomer hospital. After taking note of the receptionist's "You're going to need a lot of patience tonight, we're completely chocka...", and after chatting with a 10 month pregnant woman who had been waiting 2 hours for a bed, we promptly legged it over to Beilenson Hospital in my favourite town. After a quick check up, we were sent home. But I guess Wee Lassie is on her way...and I feel like this dry run has got me ready psychologically because up until last night it hadn't yet hit me...

15 things in Israel you won't see elsewhere...

• Bank managers wearing t-shirts, jeans and sandals.
• Schools breaking out to the sound of "Eye of the Tiger", rather than the ol' school bell.
• Motorcyclists wearing bicycle helmets.
• Shouts of "AltiZaken" from Arabs in VW Camper vans.
• 13 year old kids smoking nargilas in the neighbourhood park.
• Lone scantily-clad women walking the city streets late at night.
• Old men with open trays of pollution-infested delicacies at busy junctions/markets.
• An alarming plethora of very hairy backs and shoulders at the beach.
• Tottering pensioners working as security guards.
• Market stall vendors shouting at their customers not to buy all the best produce.
• Motorcyclists waiting to cross pedestrain crossings.
• No dolphins at the local Dolphinarium (Tel Aviv).
• Policewomen filing their nails and talking to Ma on the phone while on duty.
• Tiny 18 year old army girls walking down the street with M16s slung over their shoulder.
• Thousands of Israelis, everywhere (OK, I forgot about Khao San Road...).

Hunting high and low

Looking for an apartment in Tel Aviv and its suburbs ain't easy. And what with Wee Lassie about to join the anglosaxy ranks (contractions have been spotted this weekend...) and our contract coming to an end at the end of this year, it's starting to get a little tight.

I think we've settled on the area we want, it's just finding the right place. Preferably before the hordes of homeless / yad2 readers get wind of it. It kind of goes against my religion, but [ spit, spit ] we're even thinking of paying a [ spit, spit ] real estate agent to find us a place. When I say "find us a place", I mean, of course, to sit on his or her arse and do absolutely fuck all, but still charge us a month's rent for his/her services.

I know, I know. But I'm a busy little bee these days, and mrs anglosaxy isn't running about too speedily, so we've got a little desperate. By the time we spot something on homeless / yad2, it's long gone. So, yes, we may become friars, or suckers. What's an anglosaxy to do...

Very portly

My next port of call...

Remember remember the 9th of November!

Oh, Happy Birthday to me!
Day off work, some beers, some sushi...
Gotta love the ancestors, they sent over a big box of these little beauties...
[ chomp, chomp ]

Tel Aviv meets Petah Tikva

Threeway with a celeb

Did I ever tell you about the time mrs. anglosaxy and myself shared a lift with a superstar footballer? Yes, here in Tel Aviv, in one of the city's premier hotels, a few years back. Let's just say that he now plays regularly for England, though was possibly just outside the England ranks when we rode him. I mean rode the lift with him. It was just the three of us but I didn't realise who it was until he got out in front of us. I should have stamped on his foot when I had the chance...
Name that man.

Jeroosalem

I've just got back from Jerusalem, after a quick trip sponsored by Corridor Land. 'Tis a bit nippy up there in them hills. Almost had me shivering in my T-shirt.

I have to say, I always liked the look of Jerusalem, I just never know where to go (and always end up getting lost trying to find the exit to Tel Aviv...). Anybody want to recommend a good spot for a day trip, easily accessible and easily managed by junior and a large whale-like mrs anglosaxy?

Take a look at this picture and tell me you don't want to puke...

I'm sorry, I know I don't go political, but this is making my teeth grind...

This is the wife of Yigal Amir (the guy who assassinated Yitzhak Rabin), who has just come out of prison after some conjugals. OK, human rights are human rights, but surely when you murder someone in cold blood you kiss most of those rights goodbye? She just seems so happy and fluffy, as if nothing ever happened...though I guess she got a good seeing to as Yigal hasn't seen much action in the last 11 years or so. Fucker.

The Beach

As the rains start to fall (yep, it's a Guy Fawkes kind of day, a freezing, blustery 24 degrees outside), it's time to pull up your deckchair and remember a sunnier day...

Facing your fears

The last face.

Face off

* I think he spotted me snapping...

Put your Face on

You two Faced...