Monday, July 31, 2006

Modus vs Scousus

Fuck the war. Some might say (like me) that the biggest event of this summer is Thursday's Depeche Mode gig.

I believe 100% that Depeche Mode will turn up. Dead sure. And the local press has pictures of the stage being built, so it's looking good...Dave G has burnt both ends of the candle on too many occasions to let a few little rockets scare him. If it doesn't happen I'm guessing there'll be a few sad faces...mine included. Even O postponed her trip to Thailand, Australia etc until after the concert...

Fuck, can't believe it's been 22 years since I last saw 'em. Must have been about 15 when I saw them down Hammersmith Odeon way...

And as for Liverpool, you chickens...

Sunday, July 30, 2006

"I'll have a pint of Stella with my war, please..."

Seems a bit strange, what with a war raging a couple of hours drive away. But fuck it, when Stella calls, a man's gotta do what a man's gotta do. And yes, the beachside bevvies meant a strip down to my boxers and a quick midnight dip. Lush, absolutely lush. And no jellyfish clinging to my body as I resurfaced. An added bonus.

Friday, July 28, 2006

Goyzone II

So you know I decided to rent the shop in the smallsville shopping mall. Cheap and cheerful, great location. Went to close with the owner at her place in the older, more rundown Yemenite inhabited part of smallsville.

First question her 10 year old daughter asks me: "Are you Yemenite?"
"Er, no, I'm English."
"What?!? So, is your father Yemenite?"
"No, he's, er, English too."
"And your mother?"
"Yep, English."
She stares at me.
Then goes and whispers something in her mother's ear.
Her mother giggles.
"Of course he's Jewish darling, just because he's not Yemenite it doesn't mean he's not Jewish."

I smiled my bestest Jewish smile.

Saturday, July 22, 2006

Farewell to a legend

And before I slink off into a alcohol-induced haze, I'd just like to thank Dennis for some of the more sublime moments in Arsenal's recent history. Class. And kind of appropriate that his testimonial was the first game in Arsenal's majestic new stadium.

Homo Sapiette - November '06

OK, as promised, one last Homo Sapiette.

Her very first public appearance, though possibly not her last (a world premiere awaits in November). A young lady destined for big things.

I told you I'd been busy...and you can't fault me for my ''war effort"...

Wa ha haaa! The anglosaxies are taking over Israel the asylum!

And with that, I'm off for a few days. Just to wet the baby's head 'n all that. I'll be back. You can wish me and the missus good luck if you like, I have a feeling we're going to need it...

Thursday, July 20, 2006


OK, so I've been very busy lately. And not just with following the news and polishing my gas mask...

A lot of things have been happening over the last few weeks, some of which I didn't want to mention here. But now I can reveal it all, finally. Here we go...

The anglosaxies are realizing their dream and heading for Japan. Mushi mushi.

Er no, just fucking with you. Hee hee.

Actually, reality is a little different, as you might have guessed. I'm going for the school malarky big-time. BigTime. I have now rented the shop in the smallsville mall, opening for business real soon. So, lots of work there, getting the place, and myself, organized. I have a load of stuff to do, so blogging might continue to be light over the coming weeks. Plenty of pics though. I was thinking of starting a blog about starting a school, but not sure I want to give all my entrepreneurial secrets away. So I might post here instead.

But it doesn't stop there. I've also bought another school, complete with 70-odd students, down south. I saw an opportunity and grabbed it. Because, believe me, it's an opportunity. I won't tell you how much I paid for it, because you won't believe me. Anyway, that's running smoothly along as we speak, a few teething problems but nothing I can't handle (including dodgy Russians demanding protection money). I have a teacher there, so, yes, I am now da management. And, I like to think, my management style is fairly decent. I'm perhaps too friendly, though the teacher does know who the boss is...maybe I should stick a 'L' sticker on me bum in the meantime...

I also plan on having a teacher in smallsville, because I realized during the last year that teaching and administration are impossible to handle together. If I seriously want a growing and profitable business, I have to move "upstairs". I have also been told by a couple of business gurus that this is the only way up. I have a plan, and I can see that it might just work...

I know this kind of goes in the face of what I was saying a few months ago, about wanting out of the Holy Land, but things change, and will probably change yet again. I could tell you that I really dont want to stay here forever, and I really don't want to stay here forever, but you never business plan involves taking a big step back from the front line within the next 3 or 4 years, so you could say that until then I'm here. But, like I said, things change, so you never know. I'm always open to new opportunities...especially if a pub near the beach is going for a song...and if this war takes a turn for the worse, things will surely change again...

Corridor Land stays in the picture for now, but I seriously need to go. The plan, and hope, is that soon, enough income will be there for me to quit and concentrate on the schools. In the meantime, it's good money, there's a car, and I can do pretty much what I like. It's hell there without O and other good lifers who've left in the last few weeks, but money talks.

Next post: yet another reason for being busy. Get your hankies ready...

Wednesday, July 19, 2006

Adopt a Nawtherner

As Nasrallah and HezBollox continue to throw as many missiles as they can at those nasty peace-mongering Israelis in northern Israel, it's time for the rest of the country to pull together. That's right, you too can temporarily adopt a northern family. Just think about it, you too can have sleepless nights as they happily recount tales of booms in the night and sirens wailing...Mrs. anglosaxy's parents have already done it, they've got their distant cousins from Rosh Pina coming down, all 5 of them. And yes, the anglosaxies are also thinking about it, we have a spare room and a big house (bleedin' cheap to rent in smallsville), so why not? Just no riff-raff, please...

You've got to hand it to the Israelis - can you imagine this type of camaraderie in Blighty? Northern Scouse Git heads down south with his Teenage Slapper for an all expenses paid weekender at Southern Chav Geezer's pad. Just ain't going to work...

Tuesday, July 18, 2006

Never say Ne've

Ne've Sharett, a very upscale neighbourhood - or perhaps not - in North Tel Aviv.

Monday, July 17, 2006

Comes in 3s II

King Kong 1933 (watched sometime back in the 80's)
King Kong 1976 (watched sometime back in the 80's)
King Kong 2005 (watched last night)

I am a bit of a Kong fan, have to admit, and Jessica Lange's '76 Kong is the winner for me. Good effects in the new version, but the story is so familiar...though not to mrs. anglosaxy who had her Kong premiere last night. She liked it.

Mmm...Nasrallah and Kong. Spot the connection...

Sunday, July 16, 2006

War! What is it good for?...ok, ok

I dunno.

There I was, driving into Tel Aviv at 7 bleedin' am (on my way to get junior an Israeli passport), listening to the Morning Show on Radio Tel Aviv. Tal and Aviad were discussing the war raging up north, and pointing out that, actually, things don't look so bad. I guess they get paid to put a positive light on things, but living here in the centre of the country, it's easy to understand why things don't look so bad.

Just yesterday, driving home from the beach, I turned to mrs. anglosaxy and said "Hard to believe there's a war raging just a few kms from here..." But she was already asleep, so junior made out he understood me and smiled blissfully. The beach had been packed, with people laughing and eating ice-cream, just as they normally would.

But after getting junior's passport sorted (trust me, if you want to get excellent service at the Min of Interior, take a baby along - simply excellent service from a government body I have dreaded visiting in the past), things seem to have changed a bit. I'm looking at a couple of Israeli websites and see that more missiles have rained down on Haifa, with more casualties. And even more alarming is the warning to Tel Aviv citizens to be "on the alert".

Listen, if it was just me, I'd be quite excited. Scared, but the adrenaline would be pumping. I was here during the Gulf War of '91, and although those scuds came down around me in Tel Aviv, I was on the beach with friends watching those little orange fireballs head for some random location accompanied by the eerie wail of sirens. Trouble is, I got me a family, innit. And, I seem to have been instilled with this very protective instinct that is starting to bite...

Well, I've rambled a bit...didn't even mean to post anything today and didn't mean to sound too depressing, because I'm not down...just a tad more wee worried than yesterday...and I do have a couple of killer posts for you, coming real soon...

Saturday, July 15, 2006

Corridor Land update

As it gets a little hot round this neck of the woods and, yes, even mrs. anglosaxy has turned into a news's time for something completely different...

It's a struggle to be in Corridor Land, yet again. I really can't connect with the place, and even though there's some eye candy in my room, she's gonna drive me nuts. OK, Corridor Land provides the car, decent money and having the freedom to come and go as I please, but being here sucks royally.

Just last week there was a meeting on a Tel Aviv beach to say farewell to the last of the lifers from an adjoining department. Sounds OK, right, going down to the beach for some sun, sea and bacon and eggs? I can assure you, it ain't the way I spend beach time...all political, and nicey nicey. Detest it with a passion - much be the anti-establishment geezer in me.

As for the new cell mate, she is one of those girls who has everything organized and correct and is just too nice. An example: she is getting married in 4 months time but is making about 10 calls a day to various wedding organizers. Every night in her diary is full of caterer tasting sessions, or meetings with DJs. "Fuck me", as they say. Others might say "Pass the bucket". It's all way too twee for me, especially after a vodka-toting Ruskie. Me and her aren't gonna be mates, we're just from two totally different planets. I'm going to keep my head down and be civil, as that's all I need to do, right?

But don't worry! Everything is working out, slowly slowly. I will reveal all in a couple of posts...and there's quite a bit to reveal! Stand by your beds!

Friday, July 14, 2006

"Helicopter!" "Helicopter!" "Helicopter!"

Was down the beach yesterday evening with junior, the first time I've taken him on my own. Was great, especially the times when he decided to fall face down in the sand with his mouth open...

But he was constantly distracted by the whirring of helicopters going up and down the coast. Wouldn't want to give the wrong impression, but there was a feeling of some "heavy shit" going down...

Thursday, July 13, 2006


This is not a small village in Spain...

Tuesday, July 11, 2006


You can be just like Zidane and play this game...

Water warriors

From Friday afternoon's Water War...

Monday, July 10, 2006

Bye Bye World Cup

That's it, it's all over. Don't know why, but I wanted Germany, then France to win. Must be the anti-semite in me.

Here's the reason why Israel never makes it to the World Cup. Great clip!

And an SMS from Blighty, received just after the Portugal-England game:

Ronaldo and Hitler walkin down the road and u have 2 bullets in the gun, who do u shoot first? Ronaldo. Twice.


Once golden...

Dizengoff Center, June 2006
(click to big)

Saturday, July 08, 2006

Thursday, July 06, 2006

Watermelon boy... one year old. It's flown by, but been worth every second. Gotta love the lil' geezer.

Tuesday, July 04, 2006

A company trip? Me? Naaah...

I feel awful.
I didn't turn up for this week's company daytrip "up north, like".
So I got to miss 4 hours stuck on a bus with the creme de la creme of Corridor Land.
I'm so ashamed.
So very ashamed.
No gaboosh (bonding with my fellow workers) for me.
Oh dear, that sounds like...

One street corner, three pics

Name that Tel Aviv street...

Monday, July 03, 2006

Sounds like...

Don't know about you, but whenever I come across a new language, I like to get nasty and learn all the fruity stuff. Feck, I remember cursing my head off within a few days of arriving in Tel Aviv, much to the delight, and then horror, of my private tutor/Israeli girlfriend*.

So, lots of cursing in Arabic, less in Hebrew (why is that? Hebrew sucks for the profanity-prone). Anyway, recently I heard the father-in-law cursing something new in Arabic, "manoosh". After asking him what it meant, I was met with a deathly silence. mrs. anglosaxy glared at me. After being slapped across the back of my legs, I was quietly informed of its meaning. Which made me smile even more.

Trouble is, what with watching some of the World Cup, I've been reminded constantly of this word whenever Portugal play. A certain player, called Maniche, is automatically raising a laugh whenever I hear him mentioned. When he went down like he'd been shot in the kneecaps against Ingerlund on Saturday [ cries again into his beer ], my "that fecking manoosh" seemed very appropriate.

And no, I'm not telling you what it means. Go get yourself an Arab speaker.

* Yeh, I got acquainted with the locals pretty bloody sharpish - did I ever tell you the story of my meeting a girl here on the beach after only one hour in Israel, and then spending the next 6 years with her...? Oooh, if it hadn't been done before, I would be tempted to tell a yarn or two about just why I'm here...

Saturday, July 01, 2006


My car...down the pub later methinks!