You know you've been in Israel too long...Mark II

To celebrate my 17,000th page hit (YES! It was you! Good job that man!), I've decided to relive my favourite (and most commented upon) post of 2004, revamped and remixed by DJ aNgLoSaXy to give it an air of 2005. I've also noticed that my readership has almost doubled in the last month, god knows how, so this is for all you newbies...feel free to add your own in the comments.

You know you've been in Israel too long...

...when you start blocking junctions during the rush hour (go on, you've still got a spacious 2 cm before you start nudging that car in front!).

...when you speedily close any gap between you and the car in front at the first sign of someone trying to maneuver his/her way in. At 100kmh. There's no way one of those feckers is going to push in...

...when you start jumping queues (lets face it, did you ever see an organized, civilized queue? Even those cute looking old Yemenite grannies have queue-jumping down to a fine art!). Nightmare Scenario: Planeload of Israelis and only two check-in desks!!

...when you start trying to barge your way into a lift (or 'elevators' as some of you from 'across the pond' might prefer) while its occupants are still exiting - Let them get OUT before you try and push your way IN!

...when you start shouting on your mobile phone in the middle of the street (with exaggerated arm movements, of course).
Nightmare Scenario: Nice romantic movie at the cinema...accompanied by the joyous chorus of a Nokia and Eriksson doing their renditions of Sarit Hadad's latest (who?...).

...when you constantly interrupt others in mid-sentence (with exaggerated arm movements, of course).

...when you no longer faint when friends mention they've just bought a 1 bedroom flat in Tel Aviv for $300,000.

...when you start leaning on your horn. (Quick, the traffic light is still on red. See if you can be the first to blow your horn before it changes to amber!)

...when you start using your hands to plough through that chicken - never mind that grease running down your arms, use a pita to mop it up!

...when you no longer get fazed as you wait for the shop assistant to finish her 'emergency' phone-call to her sister's friend's cousin's brother's girlfriend.

...when you no longer expect to hear a 'please' or 'thank you' - just give me the bloody change!

...when you no longer flinch at the sight of someone flushing their nasal contents onto the street - with the same hand that you may well soon be shaking!

...when you start an Anglo-Israeli blog.