Tonight, I celebrate my love...

About as close as this country is ever going to get to them...

This is what I like about Israel...

Almost December and look at this...every Israeli sniggers when I say Israeli winters are like British summers, they have no idea...

*It says 12C because I snapped the screen at 8am.

Layoff with the compensation!

I have to say, I'm pleased I did things the way I did with Corridor Land. I've finally gotten me hands on a meaty cheque (actually 2) and am making plans on what to do with it...with ample help from the missus! With no need for a car now I have Open Spacey, there's an extra pile handy. Just about the right size for an exotic holiday...mmmm...where to go, where to go? England for Crimble? Nahhh...

A quick Thank You

Just like to give a quick "Thank You!" to all the people who sent me comforting emails, text messages, etc in regard to England's glorious European Championship failure...especially warming was Kinky's LOSERS email, accentuating his warmth in big, red 72 point font lettering. Also rather heartwarming was GBH's L text message. Yep, that's what he sent, the letter L. I won't mention the ribbing I got throughout the day, particularly at last night's family Bar Mitzva, where everyone and his dog took the piss. Especially touching was the moment I had to go to the stage with the missus to present the birthday boy (man?) with his present and on my way up somebody called out "Start supporting a decent country...".

Bastards the lot of you. Now, let me continue to sulk, please.

He gotta go!

Face it

I did it. I wilted under the pressure. Yesterday I went and joined Facebook. I'm still finding my feet and whoring myself to whoever will be my friend, but is this just the biggest waste of time ever invented? I can see the interest maybe lasting a couple of weeks, but after that...? I also see a use for it for the school, but, apart from that...

So, convince me that it's worth it...and come and be my friend, please...he he! Drop me an email and we'll whore together...at least for a couple of weeks...

What the hell am I? #38

CumonIsrael!

OK, so it's time to get out the ol' blue and white scarf and rattle and to cheer on Israel later this afternoon against the Ruskies. A defeat for the Holy Landers means England's hopes of making it to next year's Euro Finals will be buggered. Of course, England don't really deserve to make it through, but to watch a major tournament and not have them there will be, well, just not cricket. Local rags are going with lots of oligarch stories, seems to be a lot of dollars being waved about perilously close to the Israeli team - but they're Israeli, they're above all of that, of course, and I can almost guarantee a non-corrupted performance. Or maybe not. Oh yeh.

And while we're on the subject, aren't the Arse simply devine at the moment? Top of the league and strutting some fine stuff. It's a shame we have to watch some of this international crap instead of some real footie...

One to the Ella

Happy First Birthday Smiley Princess!

Month 2 almost over

Soon moving into my third month at Open Spacey, things are beginning to take shape. And I'm not too convinced I like the shape...OK, most of the people are actually awright innit, and usually respond to a "Morning!" or whatever other greeting I can chuck at them, and I've actually had more "shared" lunches with these guys than I had in all my years at Corridor Land.

But...there's a few things that I ain't too keen on. I won't get too specific, but the product I have to document is a motherfucker. A tedious motherfucker. If I tell you that in the current monster of a user guide (300 pages) there is approx. 30 images, the rest is text, code, tables etc etc...so you can imagine, it ain't too user friendly. I told the boss that after a week sitting on it I still have no idea how it works. He replied that if I know something after 2 years it'll be good...There's also a ton of work on other smaller products and they just keep piling it on...don't they know it just ain't me? I've actually got to work at this place and I just ain't used to it...

It's also very startuppey, which is something I always wanted. But that means you're on your own a lot more - for example, no pampering from IT departments who'd quickly slot in some RAM if I needed it. Here I have to go find a screwdriver, get on my hands and knees and do it myself. I better not mention the software cracks, coz that's Israeli startups for you...

So, all in all, still not sure. But really not intending to make this my home for a serious amount of time, so not too worried...it pays the bills for now and the school is growing in the meantime, so...

My weekend II

More pix from the Love Boat. I won't mention the bottle of Bushmills I downed, because you might get the wrong impression...and as for the Ugly Israeli, this cruise was awash with 'em. Fuck me, quite amazing. The whisky helped...

A temporary honorary Turk

The Med

Get your haircut here. And a tattoo. At the same time.

Turkish port city of Alanya

Turkish port city of Alanya

Ship fare

My weekend

My birthday weekend...spent on a booze, er, I mean cruise, to Turkey...more pix to come.

Windy

A Jeroosalem windy.

Eye candy!

Well, my advertising campaign has finally borne some fruit. This week I had two female adult students sign up, one an ex-aerobics instructor, the other a very cute student, in her late 20's. After some of the ugly buggars I've had to sit opposite over the last year or so, this is a welcome change! It's when they leave me messages that they "need me" (er, for my English expertease, he he) that it all seems to be worth it...Am I allowed to flirt? Very unprofessional, but, well, it's all part of the job being management, innit...

F*cked up

'Scuse my French alert...

Yep, sometimes this country is just so fucked up. Yesterday, for example, saw two things that really pissed me off...

Firstly, Rabin's assassin being able to conduct his son's brit on the anniversary of Rabin's death. I think I already promised no more politics this year, but this story...what the fuck were they thinking when granting him conjugal visits way back when? Didn't somebody think that this might possibly happen, that they might just want to have their own little private party on such a momentous date? Now every year it won't just be Yigal Amir's face on the front pages of newspapers, it'll also be his son's (I have a feeling they won't be holding back on the anonymity). I'm sorry, I'm all for rehabilitation and justice and equal rights etc etc etc, but in this case, fuck civil rights.

Ahhh, now I feel better, sorry...

On a lesser note, I visited the tax offices in Tel Aviv yesterday. I'll admit, the speed at which I was in and out of there amazed me, truly fucking amazed me, but why was I there in the first place? That's right, because a largish cheque is on its way to me via the insurance company (the layoff compensation from Corridor Land) and the tax authorities want to know exactly how much and what I intend to do with it...I was all ready to give them this line about buying lots of "sex, drugs and rock'n'roll", but alas, they never asked. They just gave my lots of paperwork to hand over to the insurance company to let them know that it's ok, they can give me my money...it's a new law apparently, but really, what the fuck?

What the hell am I? #37