A fair crack

I have a geezer at Open Spacey who scares the bejesus out of me. Or perhaps I mean just grosses the bejesus out of me. Especially when he bends over. Because, you see, he is a "big-boned" bloke and always seems to wear very small sized tops/t-shirts, plus low-cut jeans/trousers. Which means his top rises up every bleedin' chance it can, forced into submission by a huge (I mean feckin' huge) beer belly, exposing a rather healthy portion of plumber's cleavage.

At first I thought it was funny and imagined throwing all kinds of things down that crevace (a pencil, maybe a bottle of water, possibly even my laptop...)...now, it's just got feckin' disgusting. I try to steer clear whenever I see him walking in front of me, but there's nothing you can do, your eyes are automatically drawn to that valley of death...

And then, yesterday, he managed to outgross himself. In the middle of a meeting, he took one of the board markers used by everyone, stretched out and put it down his back. He then started scratching, with the marker...the green marker, the green marker, I must remember...surely I wasn't the only one who noticed???

I'm sorry if that just put you off your breakfast/lunch, but I thought you should know that it's not all sex, drugs and rock'n'roll in my world...