No return to C Land

Well, for those of you interested, the day before I was supposed to start working for Corridor Land they called and told me they thought they had found a replacement for the twat who had taken over from me (those of us who know, know he's a twat). I was scheduled to be a stop-gap for a few weeks/months until a more permanent replacement was found.

And to tell you the truth, I'm bleedin' relieved. It would have been a few extra shekels, which is always nice, but it would have stretched me silly. At present, I'm rolling into bed at 2am every night after working on my new website (soon to be websites) and have just taken on a new freelancing gig with one of my old customers. So feck knows where I would have managed to squeeze C Land in...

One thing I have managed to squeeze in to my schedule is the gym - 3 times a week I'm pumping iron baby! Or trying to pump iron...OK, I just look at the barbells and convince myself that next week I'll start with them...But, I have to say, I feel much better these days, a lot fitter and healthier, despite the shitload of work on my shoulders at the mo. Eating a lot of fruit too, 'tis the season of oranges and avacados and grapefruit innit.

And look at Ingerlund go. Future world champions, no doubt about it. Missed the game, but sounds like they were all over the Old Enemy. Go Capello!

2 to the Ella!

It's a very big Happy Birthday to my little princess. She hits the big 2 today. A big mane of hair that can come up behind you and wrap her arms around you, or scream and shout when she doesn't get her away (boy, does she know what she wants!), or purse her lips and melt me in an instant, or suddenly launch into a half-boogie in her car-seat when I stick Depeche Mode on...have a great day darlin'!

* Not the best shot because this young lady is very hard to snap. She's always on the move and just when you've got her in focus, she'll look away. Hence the half-stoned look above...

40? Nah, not me mate!

Bleedin' 'eck, 40. So, OK, time for my pipe and slippers. And Sunday newspaper, my dear chap. And time for 40 things I should or shouldn't have done over the past few years...

1. I shouldn't have gone for that extra spicy Thai chicken curry in Bangkok. It really did burn on its way out.


2. I should have kissed Angela's sister, despite our rampant teenage dancing to A-ga-doo doo doo.


3. I shouldn't have thrown that wicked water-bomb from a Tel Aviv balcony.


4. I should have left Corridor Land a whole lot earlier.


5. I shouldn't have slept on that nice green rug in Tiberias (actually a traffic island).


6. I shouldn't have had that "one last beer" in the MASH bar after downing a bottle of vodka.


7. I should have steered clear of the big chef's niece while working over the summer hols at an Eastbourne hotel.


8. I shouldn't have stolen that deckchair with the big chef's niece (the undercover cop who politely suggested we put it back kind of confirms this).


9. I shouldn't have got into that late night taxi alone with that overly friendly gay taxi driver on my last night in Cyprus.


10. I should have avoided that buxom lass with the twinkle in her eye in the Ego Trip bar.


11. I should have elbowed that guy barging into the queue in front of me a lot harder.


12. I shouldn't have gone skinny dipping at midnight on a Tel Aviv beach (with a naked French girl by my side, I might add) during jellyfish season.


13. I shouldn't have had that chocolate ice-cream with that last beer with the same French girl - big impact on performance...


14. I should have read the small print on my scooter insurance instead of naively believing the insurance agent.


15. I shouldn't have written obscenities on the blackboard after footie training at my junior school. I got found out (Deano cracked and spilled the beans, the bastard)...


16. I should probably have cried harder after getting caned by Mr Clark for writing the obscenities mentioned above...


17. I should have put more sunscreen on over the years instead of relying on my in-built timer.


18. I should have left Israel back in '96, when I had the chance!


19. I should have re-started my gym membership a whole lot sooner - 3 years of sitting on my arse and doing no sport took its toll.


20. I shouldn't swear so much, especially around the kids, but that's me...


21. I shouldn't have called that kid in my class "Jude the Jew", but everyone was doing it and what the feck did I know...


22. I should have showered the missus with more flowers and slushy stuff over the last 3 years, but two little monsters have kind of gotten in the way...


23. I should have taken that job on an Eilat pleasure boat back in the early days. Hell, they were paying 5 sheks an hour!


24. I shouldn't have hoodwinked my nature class at junior school with my fake bird's nest, built by my own fair hands. Looked pretty authentic though!


25. I should back up my computer so much more. I just know a whole load of pix are gonna be lost forever and yet I still do nothing...


26. I shouldn't have lied to me Mum about being out of Tel Aviv during the Gulf War and Saddam's scuds, when I was actually right in the heart of Tel Aviv.


27. I shouldn't have been so nice to Natalie when I so obviously wanted her friend Kim. Kiss chase was never quite the same again...


28. I should have started my web entrepreneurship a long time ago. I could have been a mwillionaire by now!


29. I shouldn't have taken on that other school in Ashdod. I was running before I could really walk.


30. I shouldn't fart so much. One day I know that something like this will happen...


31. I shouldn't get so wound up when driving in this country, and really shouldn't give the finger so much, but you know what it's like...


32. I shouldn't have screamed obscenities at the woman who questioned my riding my scooter on the path leading up to her front door.


33. I should have kept in touch with so many people...


34. I shouldn't get so excited about Arsenal beating Man United, but it's pure pleasure, especially after the last couple of weeks...


35. I should have gone to university after my A levels.


36. I should have gone for the menage a trois with those two Israeli girls, but come on, I was a wee lad...and scared shitless!


37. I shouldn't have sold my PlayStation 2, but it 'll be a good excuse to get PlayStation 4 or 5 when Junior starts getting interested...


38. I shouldn't have laughed when I heard the Nazi commandant from the floor above had broken her jaw. But at least it'll keep her quiet for a bit...


39. I should have taken my wedding ring off before going surfing.


40. I really shouldn't have had that last beer on my 39th year and 363rd day...but it was a pre-40th birthday bash, so...

Wot? Still 'ere?

Aye, I'm sorry for not updating regularly over the past few weeks, just been a tad busy with a whole load of things. I see my readership has dwindled away a bit, and understandably so.

This blog is still alive, don't worry, I'm not going to kill it off just yet. Though it will probably take a bit of a beating when I launch my new website, probably at the start of December. Oh yes, a new website to amaze and delight you! Actually, probably not...because for most of you it won't be that relevant. More to tell soon...

And I haven't been hiding away because of an impending 40th birthday. Honest guv. But bleedin' 'eck, it came round a bit sharpish, innit. I'm having a few drinks on Friday night with a few friends to celebrate, and then a bit of a picnic on Saturday afternoon (but that could be tricky with Arsenal playing Manure...), and then Sunday I shall be wallowing in a hungover state on my actual birthday...because, although feeling young, I'm starting to look like this geezer...


Good post coming up on Sunday...be warned!