Placing a sharp knife in the hands of an Arab...

"Ahmed, is this sharp enough?"

"Ah, habibi, very good". Ahmed looks carefully at the 10 inch blade and smiles murderously, an evil twinkle in his eye temporarily blinding me. He then savagely slices open the packaging around the new fridge he's just delivered. Think "Psycho" knife action.

It is about now that I'm beginning to question my decision to hand him the largest knife in the house. And Ahmed is a huge motherf*cker. Distraction, I need to distract him.

"Ahmed, tell me, this fridge we've bought, is it really any good?" And with that, Ahmed the Knife turns into Ahmed the Pussycat. "Ah habibi, it's OK, but I would have bought the side-by-side version, just like the one my mother has...". In the end, what with his tales of batchelorhood and searches for a wife, I was almost ready to fix him up with one of mrs. anglosaxy's friends...

But, just for a second there...