Got my mind set on you. Or you. Or maybe even YOU!

Welcome back to the jolly world of the Tel Aviv real estate market.

We are now officially on the "sent the contract" list, which means we are now one of 3 up for this small, but sexy apartment in one of North Tel Aviv's neighbourhoods. Apparently, we are also the "nicest", whatever that means. I have a feeling it's something to do with the landlord fancying my missus, but if it works, it works.

So, we are waiting for the landlord to decide which way he'll go, with references to "professional single woman not having even seen the apartment, but she wants to offer me more than anyone else..." littered throughout telephone conversations with him. Oh yeh? So go blow yourself, you greedy bastard.

But Tel Aviv is fecking crazy, no doubt about it. There are just no decent flats available, and when one pops up, it's snapped up within hours, if not minutes. And landlords are also upping their rents when they see the response to their ad, which I actually have no problem with, because, after all, the capitalist pig in me realises that supply has got to meet demand. But do me a favour, some of the places we've seen...some of these landlords are 'avin' a laugh...even a pig (capitalist or otherwise) would struggle in some of them...