Twittering on

Wow, was that really my first beer of 2009 this afternoon? Holy Moses...

So, in my attempts at taking over the Inter world, I've gone and got twittered. I'm not sure of the benefits and have a feeling it's just another time waster, but it's one of those tools that you have to try, especially if you're trying to get the word out on the Web. Quite interesting that you can come across the tweets of people like John Cleese and Jonathan Ross (presuming they're kosher, innit).

So, if any of you out there are twittering on and feel like following my escapades, feel free to click on the Twitter icon below. I promise to reciprocate. Maybe.

End of year wrap up

It's been a strange old year, ain't it.

On the personal front, I feel like things have been bubbling along nicely. I've been hectic, what with the school, the Tech Writing, building a website (or 2), playing "bumpy road" with my kids (they climb on top of me and then I jiggle them wildly about, they love it!), coddling the missus way too much, going to the gym, etc etc...

While the world economy has collapsed in the last few months, I've seen no sign of it at the school, but have a feeling it's just about to strike in Open Spacey. When one of the big bosses asks you to review his CV and over lunch tells me that he's 100% sure that there are BIG changes on the way (they actually closed the Israel branch a few years ago), you have to wonder. I'm not really that bothered, because my comfort zone is about to be shattered anyway, real soon...

And Israel was doing so nicely, a record year for tourism, confidence still relatively high despite the economy, before deciding - not before time - to bomb the feck out of Gaza. Leaves a smidgeon of depression hanging over the end of year, and as the missiles get closer to Tel Aviv, perhaps even a little scary...

Yep, 2009 is going to be an interesting year. For a start, I very much doubt the anglosaxies are going to be in Tel Aviv beyond April. And it could be much further afield, you'll just have to wait and see...a visit to the homeland in the coming weeks should decide the direction we take.

Anyway, wishing you a very Happy New Year! Drink safely! And drink lots! Oh Gawd, it's only 9.20am but I feel a need for some Ouzo...

Happy Christmas from the Holy Land!

Aye, so Happy Christmas to you and yours!

Have a great day, whatever it is you be doing...the kids are on holiday over here because of Hannukah, so not sure how relaxing and Christmassy it's going to be...but alcohol and mince pies are my intended domain, with a long distance call to Blighty somewhere around half cut o'clock.

Yesterday me and the missus hopped over to Jerusalem and toured the Old City, just to get a bit spiritual and seasonal, and touristy. I did my Barack Obama impression at the Western Wall and stuffed my prayer amongst those mighty cracks, while the missus was quietly (very) impressed with the Church of the Holy Sepulchre...it's been years since I last visited the Old City and I have to say, I loved it, despite the chilly, blustery wind. Very inspiring...if you can handle the cheeky little Arab kids in the Muslim Quarter...

It's Hannukah, so to Roladin off we go...

Donut (and yes, I know it should be doughnut) season again as Hannukah hits us once again...and the only place you can possibly buy donuts is, of course, Roladin. Last night, I took the kids for a donut splurge and bought 8 of the nasty little buggars, 50 shekels in total, but wow, what a box! I would have paid more just for the box, let alone have donuts inside...

So, here they are, in all their donut splendour - look away now if you're weak of heart or disposition...

And you see that far right one? Yummmmm. Butterscotch....the one on the left is with arak(!), that'll be tested tonight...

And on a more serious note, here's a pic of junior's homemade hanukkiah (candleabra), with a touch of Christmas (the green and red) thrown in (I made it with him in the kindergarten)...

Tis the season...innit?

Well, got my online Christmas shopping done, what a long, hard slog that was...or not...but I know that Christmas shopping in Blighty, if I ever get to do it, will never be the same for me, especially with the demise of Woolies. Ahhh, pick n mix, what a classic.

And the Christmas tree is up, with tinsel placed strategically round the house. But still waiting to hear my first Christmas song, would you adam'n'eve it. I've just been so busy, haven't had time to pull out the songs and get a listen in...

Last night I took the kids on a Christmas tree hunt in Tel Aviv. I was targeting the main streets of Yafo as I'd heard there were a few places selling trees, but the roadworks down that way and the heavy traffic put paid to any Christmas festivity. We ended up doing the ultimate Christmas thing in the Holy Land: eating felafel, made by Israeli Arabs, sat next to a hungry pack of street cats...the kids enjoyed themselves anyway!

And what do you say about this post about Christmas in the Holy Land? It's about time you met my baby, though please excuse the holes, still in progress innit...

as woz ere

[tap] [tap]
Hello, anyone there?

So, you still here?
Me, yes, I'm fine lovies, thanks for asking.
I know, I know, you've left me in dribs and drabs, but I'm still here, I swear.
What can I say, it was all because of me bleedin' C drive. Left me high and dry it did.
But all is fine and dandy now innit.
And I've got that freelance gig out of my hair.
But Open Spacey looks dodgy. Well dodgy. January sales will happen.
New website is taking shape.
Kind of oblong-like at the moment.
And what is it about Big Brother that is grabbing people, including the missus?
Is Yossi really going to win?
Does that mean the Ugly Israeli is back big time?
Facebook says no.
I say Itay.

No return to C Land

Well, for those of you interested, the day before I was supposed to start working for Corridor Land they called and told me they thought they had found a replacement for the twat who had taken over from me (those of us who know, know he's a twat). I was scheduled to be a stop-gap for a few weeks/months until a more permanent replacement was found.

And to tell you the truth, I'm bleedin' relieved. It would have been a few extra shekels, which is always nice, but it would have stretched me silly. At present, I'm rolling into bed at 2am every night after working on my new website (soon to be websites) and have just taken on a new freelancing gig with one of my old customers. So feck knows where I would have managed to squeeze C Land in...

One thing I have managed to squeeze in to my schedule is the gym - 3 times a week I'm pumping iron baby! Or trying to pump iron...OK, I just look at the barbells and convince myself that next week I'll start with them...But, I have to say, I feel much better these days, a lot fitter and healthier, despite the shitload of work on my shoulders at the mo. Eating a lot of fruit too, 'tis the season of oranges and avacados and grapefruit innit.

And look at Ingerlund go. Future world champions, no doubt about it. Missed the game, but sounds like they were all over the Old Enemy. Go Capello!

2 to the Ella!

It's a very big Happy Birthday to my little princess. She hits the big 2 today. A big mane of hair that can come up behind you and wrap her arms around you, or scream and shout when she doesn't get her away (boy, does she know what she wants!), or purse her lips and melt me in an instant, or suddenly launch into a half-boogie in her car-seat when I stick Depeche Mode on...have a great day darlin'!

* Not the best shot because this young lady is very hard to snap. She's always on the move and just when you've got her in focus, she'll look away. Hence the half-stoned look above...

40? Nah, not me mate!

Bleedin' 'eck, 40. So, OK, time for my pipe and slippers. And Sunday newspaper, my dear chap. And time for 40 things I should or shouldn't have done over the past few years...

1. I shouldn't have gone for that extra spicy Thai chicken curry in Bangkok. It really did burn on its way out.


2. I should have kissed Angela's sister, despite our rampant teenage dancing to A-ga-doo doo doo.


3. I shouldn't have thrown that wicked water-bomb from a Tel Aviv balcony.


4. I should have left Corridor Land a whole lot earlier.


5. I shouldn't have slept on that nice green rug in Tiberias (actually a traffic island).


6. I shouldn't have had that "one last beer" in the MASH bar after downing a bottle of vodka.


7. I should have steered clear of the big chef's niece while working over the summer hols at an Eastbourne hotel.


8. I shouldn't have stolen that deckchair with the big chef's niece (the undercover cop who politely suggested we put it back kind of confirms this).


9. I shouldn't have got into that late night taxi alone with that overly friendly gay taxi driver on my last night in Cyprus.


10. I should have avoided that buxom lass with the twinkle in her eye in the Ego Trip bar.


11. I should have elbowed that guy barging into the queue in front of me a lot harder.


12. I shouldn't have gone skinny dipping at midnight on a Tel Aviv beach (with a naked French girl by my side, I might add) during jellyfish season.


13. I shouldn't have had that chocolate ice-cream with that last beer with the same French girl - big impact on performance...


14. I should have read the small print on my scooter insurance instead of naively believing the insurance agent.


15. I shouldn't have written obscenities on the blackboard after footie training at my junior school. I got found out (Deano cracked and spilled the beans, the bastard)...


16. I should probably have cried harder after getting caned by Mr Clark for writing the obscenities mentioned above...


17. I should have put more sunscreen on over the years instead of relying on my in-built timer.


18. I should have left Israel back in '96, when I had the chance!


19. I should have re-started my gym membership a whole lot sooner - 3 years of sitting on my arse and doing no sport took its toll.


20. I shouldn't swear so much, especially around the kids, but that's me...


21. I shouldn't have called that kid in my class "Jude the Jew", but everyone was doing it and what the feck did I know...


22. I should have showered the missus with more flowers and slushy stuff over the last 3 years, but two little monsters have kind of gotten in the way...


23. I should have taken that job on an Eilat pleasure boat back in the early days. Hell, they were paying 5 sheks an hour!


24. I shouldn't have hoodwinked my nature class at junior school with my fake bird's nest, built by my own fair hands. Looked pretty authentic though!


25. I should back up my computer so much more. I just know a whole load of pix are gonna be lost forever and yet I still do nothing...


26. I shouldn't have lied to me Mum about being out of Tel Aviv during the Gulf War and Saddam's scuds, when I was actually right in the heart of Tel Aviv.


27. I shouldn't have been so nice to Natalie when I so obviously wanted her friend Kim. Kiss chase was never quite the same again...


28. I should have started my web entrepreneurship a long time ago. I could have been a mwillionaire by now!


29. I shouldn't have taken on that other school in Ashdod. I was running before I could really walk.


30. I shouldn't fart so much. One day I know that something like this will happen...


31. I shouldn't get so wound up when driving in this country, and really shouldn't give the finger so much, but you know what it's like...


32. I shouldn't have screamed obscenities at the woman who questioned my riding my scooter on the path leading up to her front door.


33. I should have kept in touch with so many people...


34. I shouldn't get so excited about Arsenal beating Man United, but it's pure pleasure, especially after the last couple of weeks...


35. I should have gone to university after my A levels.


36. I should have gone for the menage a trois with those two Israeli girls, but come on, I was a wee lad...and scared shitless!


37. I shouldn't have sold my PlayStation 2, but it 'll be a good excuse to get PlayStation 4 or 5 when Junior starts getting interested...


38. I shouldn't have laughed when I heard the Nazi commandant from the floor above had broken her jaw. But at least it'll keep her quiet for a bit...


39. I should have taken my wedding ring off before going surfing.


40. I really shouldn't have had that last beer on my 39th year and 363rd day...but it was a pre-40th birthday bash, so...

Wot? Still 'ere?

Aye, I'm sorry for not updating regularly over the past few weeks, just been a tad busy with a whole load of things. I see my readership has dwindled away a bit, and understandably so.

This blog is still alive, don't worry, I'm not going to kill it off just yet. Though it will probably take a bit of a beating when I launch my new website, probably at the start of December. Oh yes, a new website to amaze and delight you! Actually, probably not...because for most of you it won't be that relevant. More to tell soon...

And I haven't been hiding away because of an impending 40th birthday. Honest guv. But bleedin' 'eck, it came round a bit sharpish, innit. I'm having a few drinks on Friday night with a few friends to celebrate, and then a bit of a picnic on Saturday afternoon (but that could be tricky with Arsenal playing Manure...), and then Sunday I shall be wallowing in a hungover state on my actual birthday...because, although feeling young, I'm starting to look like this geezer...


Good post coming up on Sunday...be warned!

October's Homo Sapiette - Karin Magrizo

So, a little late, but here is October's eye candy, Karin Magrizo. At the ripe old age of 31, she is in her prime. Some mornings I catch her on Channel 2 hosting her morning show just before I head off to work and she kinda sets me up for the day rather nicely. Very cute smile.

She is actually Dudu Topaz's niece (Dudu was the king of entertainment round these parts but has gone all quiet recently). Born in Los Angeles, her English should be good, but I need verification. Karin, cucumber sandwich? She has starred in a few ad campaigns, but to be honest, I don't remember any of them. She also starred in 3 episodes of "Kach Oti Sharon" as the "Temptress" but I bet you don't remember her...if she had dressed as in the pics below, I would have remembered...

Shoo! Shoo!

If throwing as many shoes as possible up onto a telephone wire was an Olympic sport, Israel might have walked away with a medal...pic taken in Jerusalem last week.

Whatever they're paying you mate, it ain't enough...

Octoberfest

Gotta love the beach in Israel. In October...

Crunch time

I dunno. The world seems to be in a crisis, and we're poised for the mother of all recessions, at least according to Sky News/BBC etc etc. But are things really that bad?

Don't know about you, but I seem to be in the midst of a boom. The school seems recession proof and is pulling in record numbers of students (one of my adult students absolutely loves the phrase "credit crunch"). I've got freelance gigs coming out of my ears, with a couple of startups wanting me to go over their Business Plans and write some stuff for their websites, as well as the long-term freelance gig that has just ordered another 80 hours work. And that's on top of Open Spacey, who seem fine and look like they want to take on more people and are very keen for me to be 100%, as always.

Maybe I'm in recession proof zones, but I have this feeling that the media is the main reason for this credit crunch, whipping this up into a frenzy. Or I could be just about to fall completely on my arse and end up homeless within a month...?

Just this weekend I was at a BBQ/party for MP, the old git, and the item that was on everybody's agenda was the planned Depeche Mode gig. No credit crunch, no defaulting loans, no mortgage issues and definitely no stock market woes.

So, has the credit crunch been crunching your numbers?

Where the hell am I?

The return of the Corridor?

Received an interesting email this week. It was from my ex-boss at Corridor Land, wishing me a Happy New Year. She then went on to ask if I wanted to return to Corridor Land as a freelancer, maybe 2, 3 days per week. I had to smile. Then shiver, as the goosebumps went shimmy shammy down my spine. Apparently the writer that took over from me saw the light. Or perhaps was made to see the light, which seems more feasible, seeing as some of us know what a twat he is...

And I'm actually considering the offer. Trust me, if it was as a salaried employee it wouldn't even cross my mind, but as a freelancer I don't have a problem. I have also laid down some ground rules, which I'm still awaiting a response on...without those in place, they can go jump.

It's a date: May 10th 2009

The boys are coming! The boys are coming!
Yeh yeh...

Desperate or Dastardly?

Received a phone call this morning. Guess who it was? Nah, you'll never guess. It was my corner shop guy, the shop just across from my school. I have a tab there and always pay up each month. It's usually a miniscule amount, though this month reached the mighty sum of 99 shekels. So, of course, he called, just to check I was coming in to settle up.

Now, I'm not sure whether he's taking the piss or is in fact a master businessman. Because to chase me up for 99 shekels (about $30, give or take a shekel), when he knows I always pay up on time and in full, seems a little off. I just thought about the 5 bills I wrote up for 12,000 shekels, money owing to me from the last few weeks of freelancing and I kinda smirked. Though smirked uneasily when I realised that he probably is spot on, at least he's demanding his money on time and chasing it up, whereas I usually end up waiting an extra month or 2...

Eilat

Eilat, this is what it's all about...