I tried to quit aint it

Again, the quitter in me just don't wanna know. I even managed to get a whole version release out on me tod and feel good about it, Christ knows why. I guess the salary, the upcoming bonus and getting a year on the clock could well be deciding factors.

In the meantime, Internet success has hit a couple of my small sites, so I'm def in the right direction with all this shit. Just got to scale it up and outsource the whole kafuffle to the Phillipines...

On the verge of an empire

I almost did it this week. I sat there with my boss and was just going to tell him when he had to rush off. Bastard. And after he told me that he was impressed with my work (what couldn't be impressive about cutting a bloated 46 page piece of crap down to 16 pages!?), it's just got a little harder to toss this job to the dogs.

But toss it. It has to go. I just picked up another small freelance gig which will bring in another few shekels every month, so I have enough small gigs to help pay the bills without the main earner. The car will be the big loss when I do go, but fuck it, we have another fairly decent car, so shouldn't have too many probs. Just paying those gas bills will be a pain in the arse, but fuck it.

And the web empire I'm building is slowly taking off. Apart from the igoogledisrael.com site (which will have some real big updates soon) I've found some niches which I'm working on which should also bring in some shekels. Small, steady and slow, the idea is to rinse and repeat to bring in the bigger bucks.

And in the meantime I'm down the pool on the moshav, brushing up on my tan and watching my 5 year old junior anglosaxy learn to swim like a fish. Very impressive the lad is. Very impressive!

Isn't this supposed to be pink?

So got my dismissal papers on Thursday. I was extremely disappointed that they weren't pink, as sayeth the legend. But, of course, not exactly unexpected. I even had a "hearing" where I got to say what I wanted. I didn't dish the dirt too heavily, but threw a barb or two at my immediate boss. And if my immediate boss thinks I really give a shit about his hard times (oh dear, you've been demoted to 60%), he really hasn't learnt a thing about me over the last year and a bit. And fuck those illusions of solidarity - who are you trying to kid? I know he shmoozed and bullshitted his way into keeping some sort of a position at Open Spacey because it's waaaaay too comfortable for him to give up...and I also know that he's totally looking out for himself in other ways, fuck the underlings...

Anyway, I'm just waiting for my passport from the Israeli Ministry of Interior to arrive and then me and junior are off to Blighty for some footie and chocolate and beer. And to check a few things out. But more of that later. In the meantime, it's down the gym again and again, footie on the TV, beer...oh dear, I can sense a pattern forming!

And now, the time has come...

So, the credit crunch has come to roost round my way. Kind of indirectly, but in the last few days, very expected.

After rumours spread by washerwomen (largely my direct boss, the rumour mongerer supreme) that Open Spacey was about to go belly up, a hastily arranged meeting yesterday surprised most of us. The company was selling out to an American company with much deeper pockets, but, unfortunately a few people were probably not needed. Namely the Technical Writing department, me and my boss, plus maybe another one or two.

Another meeting today, filled with ultimate management speak bullshit, informed me that my chances of staying employed with this new company are 60-40 against. Now, I'm no manager, but isn't that one hell of a pep talk! Keeping me motivated to the very last...fuck 'em.

I'm not upset by this move although I was hoping I'd still have a job for the next 2-3 months while I head over to England for a quick trip. But I'm amazingly positive, the missus was a bit shocked when I told her last night but soon saw that everything will work out.

If it does mean the end, which I'm entirely convinced it does, I'm sure something else will turn up. I also have the school where I can take over more teaching, a semi-regular freelance gig etc. Let's face it, there are people in far worse situations than mine.

Viva la anglosaxy!

End of year wrap up

It's been a strange old year, ain't it.

On the personal front, I feel like things have been bubbling along nicely. I've been hectic, what with the school, the Tech Writing, building a website (or 2), playing "bumpy road" with my kids (they climb on top of me and then I jiggle them wildly about, they love it!), coddling the missus way too much, going to the gym, etc etc...

While the world economy has collapsed in the last few months, I've seen no sign of it at the school, but have a feeling it's just about to strike in Open Spacey. When one of the big bosses asks you to review his CV and over lunch tells me that he's 100% sure that there are BIG changes on the way (they actually closed the Israel branch a few years ago), you have to wonder. I'm not really that bothered, because my comfort zone is about to be shattered anyway, real soon...

And Israel was doing so nicely, a record year for tourism, confidence still relatively high despite the economy, before deciding - not before time - to bomb the feck out of Gaza. Leaves a smidgeon of depression hanging over the end of year, and as the missiles get closer to Tel Aviv, perhaps even a little scary...

Yep, 2009 is going to be an interesting year. For a start, I very much doubt the anglosaxies are going to be in Tel Aviv beyond April. And it could be much further afield, you'll just have to wait and see...a visit to the homeland in the coming weeks should decide the direction we take.

Anyway, wishing you a very Happy New Year! Drink safely! And drink lots! Oh Gawd, it's only 9.20am but I feel a need for some Ouzo...

A cause not worth fighting

I think I've put my finger on why I don't really like Open Spacey. It's the guy who's my boss. He's one of those fuckers that will never have a nice thing to say, even if you write the best fucking guide in living history...he's got his head so far up his own arse, all he's worried about is how he looks in the company big picture. Constant planning (which from what I've seen is a complete waste of time in this place), constant conference calls, and constant bitching. Constantly writing guides? Maybe, but I've yet to see...

Just last week up came the topic of my availability once again - if I can't commit to 100% then I'll probably have my contract terminated, bla bla bla...if it's working out so fucking terribly for you, then just fire me! He knows I deliver, he even admitted as much last week, he's just pissed that I can't/won't commit to "the cause". Oh, that's right, the cause. The cause that keeps him working until 1am most nights of the week, as he keeps updating his workplan as the big bosses keep updating theirs...sorry, but that's not a cause I'm going to be fighting for...

I've got to get out of here...

If I don't get out of Open Spacey soon, I might well end up like this guy...

Still got it

Just when I thought my touch might have deserted me, I get a call from the HR department of the company I went for an interview a while back (wow, almost a month). I've got a "double-header" for later this week, one interview with her and then another with the Vice Prez of some department or other. The company seem OK, my potential boss seems OK, and the hours seem GREAT, so hopefully we can kiss goodbye to Open Spacey real soon. I'm one charm offensive away from getting my working day set up so that I can actually breathe...

I love these things to bits...

It's been over a year since I've had to suffer the extraordinary bullshit of an employee appraisal (remember my last one?), but Open Spacey seem to be going for the jugular. Apart from the form to complete, there is an accompanying 6 page doc on "company definitions". For example, under Ability to Work Independently, there is a list of definitions, including Assumes responsibility for completion of projects without prodding. Without prodding? Keep that cattle prod away from me you bastard, I was only away from my desk for 3 minutes...

Anyway, I have a confidential (ha ha ha) form to hand in to my boss and seeing as I'm his only subordinate, and I also have to assess him, I can pretty much assume it's going to be scrutinized before being passed onwards and upwards. I will therefore have to delve back into my bullshit bank and come out with some corkers. Any suggestions? And no, I'm not expecting anything good to come out of this appraisal, apart from the re-hashing of the part-time vs full-time battle.

I so enjoy being my own boss, none of this utter bollox to deal with.

The end is nigh

With one job interview already under my belt, it looks like I'm outta Open Spacey. The interview went a lot better than expected and I'm suddenly feeling a lot better confronting those "faces" and attitudes that I've been experiencing lately. Fuck it, life is short, after my boss's recent comments and ego-bruising statements that 5 people are lined up for my job, I've decided that I've had enough. Fuck their intense deadlines and demands that don't make any sense, I'm heading for where the sun shines brightest...

Not even sure I need to hang on and get sacked, my pride is saying just get the hell outta there. And surely, a "jump" looks better on the ol' CV than a "push"...

Mr Unsackable

The boss pulled me over to one side yesterday and threw down a surprise ultimatum. Either I go full-time (100%) or I leave. He also ran out all these bullshit lines about me being on the telephone too much ("people" have been talking to him about me...) and he was shocked to see that I had worked only 2 days in the last month (never mind I was in England and then sick for 8 days and there was a little holiday called Passover along the way). So, I told him I'd find it difficult to go 100% and I'd need 24 hours to let him know. After a beautiful beach session with my kids yesterday afternoon, my mind was settled. So I let him know this morning. And then he went on about wanting to work it out and we'd figure something out.

Really, what the fuck is going on...?

Supersized Ego

Here at Open Spacey I've stumbled into a situation that I've not come across before. Here I am, with all my years of experience, suddenly the junior writer, the tea boy. Don't get me wrong, I wasn't exactly looking to get into management or a senior position when I took this job, but I did realise pretty early on that I should play the rosh katan (the "don't look out of the box")employee, otherwise I'd have some serious ego clashes with my maestro.

Basically everything's OK, but I think that's because I just let things pass me by...I could go on about some of the crazy styling issues implemented here, or the new 400 page guide I'm creating that should have been written by someone else, or the 6 month wait for promised software...but I think I'll just tell you about the requirement for me to say "Mornin'!" and "Evening!" to my maestro whenever I arrive/leave, just so he knows when I come/go, just so he can ensure my hours are met...never mind that the maestro never says "Evening!" to me when he goes and often sneaks out earlier than me...coz, well, I let it pass me by, innit...

Management bollox.

A fair crack

I have a geezer at Open Spacey who scares the bejesus out of me. Or perhaps I mean just grosses the bejesus out of me. Especially when he bends over. Because, you see, he is a "big-boned" bloke and always seems to wear very small sized tops/t-shirts, plus low-cut jeans/trousers. Which means his top rises up every bleedin' chance it can, forced into submission by a huge (I mean feckin' huge) beer belly, exposing a rather healthy portion of plumber's cleavage.

At first I thought it was funny and imagined throwing all kinds of things down that crevace (a pencil, maybe a bottle of water, possibly even my laptop...)...now, it's just got feckin' disgusting. I try to steer clear whenever I see him walking in front of me, but there's nothing you can do, your eyes are automatically drawn to that valley of death...

And then, yesterday, he managed to outgross himself. In the middle of a meeting, he took one of the board markers used by everyone, stretched out and put it down his back. He then started scratching, with the marker...the green marker, the green marker, I must remember...surely I wasn't the only one who noticed???

I'm sorry if that just put you off your breakfast/lunch, but I thought you should know that it's not all sex, drugs and rock'n'roll in my world...

Calls 4 free

OK, so you saw that Open Spacey isn't exactly open and spacey, rather more rabbit warren-like. But it still means I can hear every single phone conversation that goes on in the next few cells...including the constant calls to home, the calls abroad, and even the 3 hour calls to granny. Yes indeedy, a 3 hour session with a granny, who was quite upset that her grandson had thrown something in the bin. Despite 3 hours (I'm not kidding) reassuring her that he hadn't meant to throw it away, me, and the rest of the office, weren't convinced.

I guess this is another big difference between me and Israelis. I would be just plain feckin' embarrassed to make those types of calls, it just doesn't even enter into my mind that I could/should. I waste company time in other ways, believe me, but this way just seems so public, so full frontal...

Spoilt rotten

Something that disturbs the proletarian in me is the way that pampering is taken for granted in hi-tech. OK, the social / monetary benefits are undoubtedly what are keeping me in the industry right at this moment, but whenever I step into the kitchen at Open Spacey I'm always hit by a huge pile of washing up left for the cleaner. Not sure why it pisses me off so much, but it does. Some old Russian immigrant comes in later and spends a good 20 minutes washing up. OK, he's getting paid for it, of course, but it just feels wrong. It's not like there's 200 people at Open Spacey - we barely make it into double figures some days - so I can't see why people don't just rinse out their cup/plate/whatever. Surely it ain't that hard?

As for the fuss that kicks up when a certain brand of cookies isn't available...let's just not go there.

Open Spacey

Taken with the new mobile phone from my seat at Open Spacey. Exciting stuff, eh?

Training

I'm being trained. Trained to be proficient in Open Spacey's products, or at least one of them. All bleedin' day. And fuck me is it boring. I don't think I've ever stifled so many yawns in all my days, really. And another day to go through...

I'm fast coming to a conclusion about this place, and the conclusion could be catastrophic for my bank balance. Unless I find something else, of course. I'm sorry, but there's no time for sentiment, I spent too long at Corridor Land wiling away too many hours. No way am I going through all that shite again.

Which may mean a move into the freelance world. I did a good job for a friend's company, did them a nice little user guide and a snazzy online help. And have just been given some more work because of it...and you know what? OK, there's no regular cheque at the start of the month but it just feels so much more satisfying. No office politics, minimal corridor shenanigans, and a decent hourly rate (minus taxes, car etc etc, yes I know). Maybe they're the kind of jobs I need, quick in and out jobs, get the work done, and send the bill in. I'm fast leaning towards a totally self-employed 2008 with possible investment big-time in the school, but that's for another post...

Another reason for not wanting to get too attached would be my long term plans, but if I tell you those, I'll have to kill you...

Buggar of a week...

Just when I thought I was out, they pull me back in...

What a week I have lined up. Thanks to the end of the teachers strike over here, my main teacher, who works for a high school, now has one hell of a backlog of hours piled up and can barely come over to teach at my place. That means I have to take over most of his hours, which totally screws up my day. Because I have to work at Open Spacey, of course. And, of course, they have one enormous release going out this week, meaning lots of last minute additions and changes. And with Christmas just round the corner, my planned shopping escapades, both online and bricks and mortar stylee, are going to be limited to about 35 seconds per day...this year mrs anglosaxy might have to be happy with a packet of 5 pitot and maybe some humus...

I was almost tempted to write something a few days ago about how the teachers strike was affecting me, because business is booming thanks to a few worried parents. And my teach is a good teach, I like him a lot, it's just that now I may have to let him go because the hours he can give me just ain't gonna cut it...fuck, was I pissed on Thursday when he told me his new schedule...

Here we go again...

Layoff with the compensation!

I have to say, I'm pleased I did things the way I did with Corridor Land. I've finally gotten me hands on a meaty cheque (actually 2) and am making plans on what to do with it...with ample help from the missus! With no need for a car now I have Open Spacey, there's an extra pile handy. Just about the right size for an exotic holiday...mmmm...where to go, where to go? England for Crimble? Nahhh...

Month 2 almost over

Soon moving into my third month at Open Spacey, things are beginning to take shape. And I'm not too convinced I like the shape...OK, most of the people are actually awright innit, and usually respond to a "Morning!" or whatever other greeting I can chuck at them, and I've actually had more "shared" lunches with these guys than I had in all my years at Corridor Land.

But...there's a few things that I ain't too keen on. I won't get too specific, but the product I have to document is a motherfucker. A tedious motherfucker. If I tell you that in the current monster of a user guide (300 pages) there is approx. 30 images, the rest is text, code, tables etc etc...so you can imagine, it ain't too user friendly. I told the boss that after a week sitting on it I still have no idea how it works. He replied that if I know something after 2 years it'll be good...There's also a ton of work on other smaller products and they just keep piling it on...don't they know it just ain't me? I've actually got to work at this place and I just ain't used to it...

It's also very startuppey, which is something I always wanted. But that means you're on your own a lot more - for example, no pampering from IT departments who'd quickly slot in some RAM if I needed it. Here I have to go find a screwdriver, get on my hands and knees and do it myself. I better not mention the software cracks, coz that's Israeli startups for you...

So, all in all, still not sure. But really not intending to make this my home for a serious amount of time, so not too worried...it pays the bills for now and the school is growing in the meantime, so...