Trade her in...

Your wife is 50 years old?

Throw the old bid and get yourself a young Russian!

Classy stuff.

Link Me Baby

I'm not a big fan of these social networking thingeemajibs. I'm always getting emails from friends and colleagues to check out this "great new networking tool" which is obviously "the next big thing" and to add me to their friend list. But, 99% of the time, these requests get Shift-Deleted. Sorry. The only one that I've actually registered with is LinkedIn, which was probably the first one that I came across, long before my experiment with Facebook (which I occasionally still access, just so you know innit).

Just last week, my linkage actually pulled off a nice little earner (well, maybe...). One of my old bosses saw me all linked and socially networked up and gave me a call, asking if I'd like to do some part-time writing for his company. It's still early days, and I have to say, he's a bit all over the place, but he always paid on time and reasonably well, so it could be a goer...possibly...

So, please get LinkedUp at LinkedIn. And don't forget to link to me...you know I love you all...

Rockies

The end is nigh

With one job interview already under my belt, it looks like I'm outta Open Spacey. The interview went a lot better than expected and I'm suddenly feeling a lot better confronting those "faces" and attitudes that I've been experiencing lately. Fuck it, life is short, after my boss's recent comments and ego-bruising statements that 5 people are lined up for my job, I've decided that I've had enough. Fuck their intense deadlines and demands that don't make any sense, I'm heading for where the sun shines brightest...

Not even sure I need to hang on and get sacked, my pride is saying just get the hell outta there. And surely, a "jump" looks better on the ol' CV than a "push"...

Revenge of the Killer Bikini Girls

Burnt to a crisp

Went to the beach on Saturday, overdid it a little bit, even though we were there for just a couple of hours. The kids were well protected, hats'n'all and had a great time, but I turned remarkably red. Which I only really felt the effects of yesterday when trying to sleep on my sore back and shoulders. Feck, it hurt! Guess I was lucky I didn't wear my leopard-skin thong. Haven't been this burnt for about 20 years. I guess it shows how often I've been down the beach lately...my permanent tan days are well-gone...

Kids, be safe, use sun cream!

Love on the rocks

Lag-ging it

* Taken with phone cam

Junior and Juniorette getting mesmerized by the pull of those magnificent flames. Which lasted approx 2 minutes and then turned our bonfire into the lamest in the 'hood. Never mind, next year we'll send Junior out to ransack the local chippie's yard.

Blame Stella

It's amazing what a few Stellas will do...at one point last night, in between coughing and wheezing, I was actually cheering for Chelski. Oh dear. But what a good advertisement for English footie, especially the second half. Right? I just knew that when it went to penalties it was United's. Always seems to be the way, the team that plays better ends up losing it on penalties. Or is that me just trying to big up England's past penalty tragedies?

Lag-ing behind

The kids have a bonfire tomorrow night (it's Lag b'Homer), together with the rest of their kindergarten chums. But, apparently, if you don't come with at least 5 pieces of wood to chuck on the fire, you're a loser and you and your kids will be banned from touching the marshmallows. Bastards. So the missus has told me to "go out and find wood". Right, dead easy. Or maybe not.

I'm sorry, but where the fuck am I supposed to find pieces of wood lying around in north fecking Tel Aviv? I could chop down a small tree, but of course, the majority of "available" trees have already been hacked to death by machete wielding 6 year olds. This is one Jewish holiday I never really liked, not sure why - could be the squealing and screeching kids jumping around their all-nighter bonfires - but now I have to actually join in...feck...

What the hell am I? #48

Surviving

Not often do I blag on about TV in this country, mainly because I don't have time to really watch that much, apart from the odd game of footie. But, tonight sees the final of the Israeli version of Survivor, live in spiffing technicolor. I have to say, despite its very obvious manipulation and too-clever production, it has grabbed me and the missus by the goolies (well, perhaps not the missus...), purely for the entertainment value (and absolutely nothing to do with Marina's bum, I swear). And, it has to be said, it's fairly obvious that beefcake Noam is going to walk it tonight. He's just such a geezer. Marina's bum does deserve an honorary mention though...

Mr Unsackable

The boss pulled me over to one side yesterday and threw down a surprise ultimatum. Either I go full-time (100%) or I leave. He also ran out all these bullshit lines about me being on the telephone too much ("people" have been talking to him about me...) and he was shocked to see that I had worked only 2 days in the last month (never mind I was in England and then sick for 8 days and there was a little holiday called Passover along the way). So, I told him I'd find it difficult to go 100% and I'd need 24 hours to let him know. After a beautiful beach session with my kids yesterday afternoon, my mind was settled. So I let him know this morning. And then he went on about wanting to work it out and we'd figure something out.

Really, what the fuck is going on...?

May's Homo Sapiette - Shiraz

OK, for this month's Sapiette, I haven't really stretched myself. It's time for Shiraz Tal, one of those women who is universally classed by almost everybody as a "real Israeli beauty". Try and get a local to say something bad about her, it ain't gonna happen. She really is the local girl (from Netanya) done good. And by done good, I mean internationally renowned, strutting her stuff for some of the fashion giants such as Gucci and Victoria's Secret.


I must admit, she never really caught my eye when she was at the top of her game at the end of the 90's, but just lately seems to have done enough to squeeze herself into my list of Sapiettes. Bless 'er. And if all she has to show for the last couple of years is "Dancing with the Stars" and her own little spa in Tel Aviv, then I guess a spot on my blog is just the shot in the arm she needs...

Spritzing all over the place

I've always been on the search for a drink that the missus can sup and actually enjoy. She doesn't like beer, and spirits are way too butch, so it's always been a mission to uncover something that she can get her laughing gear round and enjoy. And then in England we discovered Wine Spritzer. A couple of those and the missus doesn't care where she is, whose hat she's knocking off (fortunately no plod) or whose plate of chips she's stealing from. Big nod of the head to the ancestor.

Dog. Sick. Parrot. Whatever...

A virus has stormed the anglosaxy household and done some spectacular damage to me and juniorette. She's actually over it now but I haven't stepped out of the front door since Thursday evening and even had a run-in with the doc at 1am...so I guess you'll have to enjoy the pix below a little longer...

Ingerlund, part 4

Last of the pix, I promise...

Ingerlund, part 3

Ingerlund, part 2

Ingerlund, part 1