Smallsville V

Views from one hill...this one wraps it up, apart from some pics of the school in smallsville, coming soon.

Smallsville IV

Smallsville III

Smallsville II

Some more pics (excuse me while I go unpack some boxes...). Hold your cursor over the pic for a description.

Smallsville I

So, as I settle back into Tel Aviv, here's some pics of smallsville, more to come. Hold your cursor over the pic to get a description...

Almost home

Aye, this time next week I can call myself a Tel Avivian. Or Tel Avivi, or Tel Aviver...

The boxes are still being packed, things are getting more frantic, but it'll all be over soon. You can call me Mr Ruthless, as I dispatch t-shirts and leather jackets to the bin, while cutting down Levis to bermuda length (for the summer). You'd be ruthless too, if the place you're moving into is half the size of your current abode. Exactly half. Something that mrs anglosaxy has yet to get her head round (I can't get me head round that...). She's going to have to ditch those minks...

While one part of me is very happy to be returning to the big city (ahh, just a drunken bike ride away from my 'local'...), another part of me is beginning to question the move. OK, smallsville ain't for me, but the pace of the city might just catch me out...I'm beginning to realise that these two little buggars that have taken on my surname might just appreciate a life outside the hustle and bustle and goddamn frustration that is Tel Aviv. Fields of poppies do that to you, eh? Then again, they might just love Tel Aviv...

And yes, a photo tribute to smallsville coming soon...

Sleepless in Smallsville

Aaaand he's back...After a total of 1 hours sleep over the last 2 nights, I'm on a strong diet of Turkish coffee this morning. Plus chocolate chip cookies.

I won't tell you how wonderful it is to be a Dad to 2, because, quite frankly, it's hard work. I won't even mention the first week of juniorette's arrival, with myself and junior disgustingly sick (lots of seriously smelly nappies...and that was just me...). Only the mother-in-law kept us going those first few days. I know, hard to believe, but those mother-in-laws come in handy sometimes.

I would have posted more pics, it's just the computer at home has gone on maternity leave...the bastard. So no Internet for a couple of weeks, except for the couple of afternoons when I was teaching in Smallsville.

Anyway, 'tis good to be back. Things will hopefully be getting back to normal round here pretty soon, just a teeny slice of patience and I shall be flooding with you with useless daily posts and pics. Coz I have a lot to say and show...

Call of the Big City...

The anglosaxy reign in smallsville is coming to an end. We've had enough of closed kaspomats (cashpoints) and the limited dining/drinking options (pizza, pizza, or, er, pizza). And as my business is now standalone in smallsville and no longer based at home, we are no longer tied here. So, a couple of days ago we gave notice to the cheapskate landlord and will be moving out within 4 months. And it looks like Tel Aviv is going to be home once again...aah, I can already smell the Irish bars, sushi, and Giraffe noodles...

A photo tribute to smallsville coming soon...

Oh, and if you want to waste your time like I did yesterday, this game is for you. Bloody great! But if you get past the Bossman let me know how...not that I have any, er, time to waste...

A window of opportunity

When I rented the shop in the smallsville mall, it seemed that the back wall was, well, a wall. It was painted white and had the previous owner's logo emblazoned on it. So it had to be a wall, right? Ha! My plans of attaching a big whiteboard to it were soon shelved when I discovered it was a huge window, approximately 2m x 2m! So, I've been scraping the paint off the last couple of days and it's been driving me mad.

Why the fuck would you paint over such a big window? It just adds so much more to the room. OK, if the sun is a bit blinding at a certain hour, surely you'd put some blinds up? Is this Israeli logic at work or is it me being stoopid?

Goldfish

Been working at my school's new premises this morning, getting it spick and span, with a fresh coat o' paint et al. And now I know what it feels like to be a goldfish. Every couple of minutes somebody walked by and stared inside. I was very tempted to pull a mooner, but thought I'd better not, these could be future clients...so instead I stuck up pages of Friday's "broadsheet" newspapers. Anybody still desperate enough to get on their knees and peer inside surely deserves a moon shot.

And last year's "in" color scheme of dark orange and darkish green has been replaced by a subtle shade of peachy orange and a yet to be decided upon color. What do you think? It's basically for one and a bit walls...I'm leaning towards white/cream, though was wondering if a violet or red wouldn't add a splash of color...

Goyzone II

Mmm.
So you know I decided to rent the shop in the smallsville shopping mall. Cheap and cheerful, great location. Went to close with the owner at her place in the older, more rundown Yemenite inhabited part of smallsville.

First question her 10 year old daughter asks me: "Are you Yemenite?"
"Er, no, I'm English."
"What?!? So, is your father Yemenite?"
"No, he's, er, English too."
"And your mother?"
"Yep, English."
She stares at me.
Then goes and whispers something in her mother's ear.
Her mother giggles.
"Of course he's Jewish darling, just because he's not Yemenite it doesn't mean he's not Jewish."

I smiled my bestest Jewish smile.

A reminder...

...of just how much this country can wind me up.

A couple of days ago I went to the post office in smallsville to pick up some Easter eggs (oh my, including a big bag of these) sent by junior's grandparents. We'll skip the part of there being only one post office in the whole of smallsville, after they closed down 2 branches last month, one of which was across the road from my place. We'll also skip the part about there being no parking reasonably close to the only post office in town. You know what, the horrendous queue of about 50 people crammed into one tiny post office, I'm feeling large, it's on me...

The annoying part: the clerk asks me for my ID card while serving another 3 people (though the parcel collection queue is thankfully a tenth of the size of the main queue). I put it back in my wallet. I wait for my parcel. Another guy comes out with the parcel. Asks for my ID card. I get it out again, he writes something down. I put it back in my wallet. A third clerk double-checks, asks to see my ID card. A boiling inner rage is cooking up. I question the need to see my ID card 3 times. I'm ignored. And then ^ thud ^ he drops the parcel on the floor. I glare at the mother fucker and say: "If there's something breakable in there* you're paying for it". I walk out, tattered parcel in hands, muttering under my breath.

I fuckin' hate post offices in this country.

* Nothing breakable, just a load of chocolates. But still...