A bloke's guide to "Quarter Final Heaven"

OK, this is what football is all about. The best 8 teams in the world (ahem, yes, Ingerlund included) fighting it out over Friday/Saturday for a place in the World Cup semi-finals.

So, prediction time. Well, it's mighty difficult, because football's a funny 'ol game, innit, but, based on some crucial information, as shown below, I think I've come up with the goods.

First up, we have Germany against Argentina.

vs.

A tough one this one, but I'm going with the Germans. Let's face it, us Brits hate 'em both, but the Germans know how to handle their beer and like a good ol' kneesuppen, so I'm with them.

Next up, we have Italy against the Ukraine.

vs.

O will kill me if she reads this, but Ukraine don't have much of a chance. Way too blond. Those Italians know how to pout and go down easily (ahem) and I think this will be the deciding factor, especially if another dodgy ref is in charge.

Saturday has the mighty Ingerlund up against boring Portugal.

vs.

A toughie this one. I actually think it will be a classic, as Ingerlund simply need to perform. A close call for Ingerlund, scraping through on penalties to exorcise any remaining demons of World Cup past. Expect plenty of close-ups of a tense Mrs Beckham in her push-up.

And finally, it's Brazil against France.

vs.

Without a doubt, the Brazilians have the most exotic, sexiest supporters. Which means, of course, that they'll win. Anyway, everybody hates the French, don't they?

Of course, the dream quarter final that isn't actually taking place (only in my head) is between South Korea and Trinidad and Tobago.

vs.

Damn shame.

Scoopy Doo

Let's hope he's getting the latest scoop...

Spot the anglosaxies

What the hell am I? #11

Scraping it

So England scrape through to another quarter-final. Quite how, I don't know. Everybody is asking me if I'm happy that they're through...and I'm not sure how to respond. Of course, the patriot side of me is feckin' happy, but they are playing so badly I feel a good-hiding might just be the remedy. Yep, maybe Ingerlund deserve a thrashing.

I dunno, 5 million quid a year and this is the best master tactician Sven can come up with? It's a bleedin' disgrace guv'nor.

Coming soon: the anglosaxy guide to the QF's, as only anglosaxy can...

Ecuador? Bring it on...

Note the Three Lions. And the Kevin Keegan locks. Down the pub for this one (I think).

The door

Roughly translated, the sign pasted on the door reads:
"Roger Waters, if you come round here with your bloody spray can, I'll have you. I bloody will, I'll have you".

(pic taken on this beach)

De-liquer-ish

Not sure what to say about the nanny. This morning she came up with this one (I swear this is word for word):

"[ moi ], can you get the liquer bottle (Baileys) down from the top shelf. I miss the taste..."

This is just as I'm off to Corridor Land - to put in an honest day's, ahem, graft - and leave her with junior for the next 7 hours...

Unclean

Yeh, didn't shave this morning. Just thought you should know.

Suburbia sleeps

I exposed myself (or even my camera) for quite a few seconds on these shots...(click to big - I love the second pic)

Comes in 3s

First it was Z. One moment he was here, the next, gone.
Then it was my favourite blogger.
And now O is no longer my Corridor Land partner. This morning is my first post-O and it's bleedin' soulless round here...

Three big constants in my life for the last 3 or 4 years (Z for over 6 years), now no longer there. If I wasn't so feckin' busy (I shall reveal all soon) I'm sure this would have hit me a lot harder...

Homo Sapiette - June '06

...and the sapiette that wraps up my collection is the gorgeous Romi Abulafia.

Ahh, Romi, remember the day a couple of summers back when you sat one meter in front of me on Jerusalem Beach in Tel Aviv? Did you really have to bend over so many times in that skimpy bikini? Disgusting behaviour. Luscious bum though, quite possibly the best I've ever seen.

Unfortunately, there is hardly a pic of Romi out there on the big wide Web. Believe me I looked (though did manage to dig out a clip - spot her Virgin Mary role in this little clip). From what I remember reading, she kind of "dropped out" of the celeb lifestyle a year or so ago after a long stint on the cult Shabbatot VerHagim series, countless ads etc (though wasn't that her I spotted in a recent TV show on Channel 10? The show with another Homo Sapiette, Miri?). All trace of her previous modelling days at Castro et al seems to have vanished with her.

Now 23, she seems to have been around for ever. To me, she looks like the sort of woman who'll only get more beautiful as she ages.

OK, you know what, one last Homo Sapiette to come. A shocker.

Roon-Who?

This week, I met an Englishman who had never heard of Wayne Rooney. What's my prize?

What the hell am I? #10

Red is the colour

North Tel Aviv...

Goyzone

I'm sorry, but I won't be able to fly to Rosh Pina anymore. I'm one of them non-Jew sorts. Security measure, my ass.*

And an interesting article about the beach I pictured here a few days ago...

* I originally left this without the comma, so it read "Security measure my ass.".
"Mmm, Anglosaxy, just let me get that tape measure round you..."

Shopping - Israeli stylee

After being treated like the dog I am a couple of days ago, it's kind of appropriate that the name of the shop in the first pic is "Respect". I would explain each pic, but, well, time being money...

A distinct lack of World Cup balls

I'm disappointed. After years of international boycotts targeted their way, you'd have thought that Israelis would know the value of keeping to a true, worthy boycott...I'm a very big footie fan but I WILL NOT be buying the cable World Cup package. I thought my footie fan brethren would be joining me, but what a bunch of sellout sheep. Oh well, I enjoyed myself in the pub on Saturday and will be going there again. The score so far: Kilkenny 4 Sellout Sheep 0.

Shippy sunset

Taken last weekend. Herzliya beach.

Ing-er-lund!

Come on ING-ER-LUND!
Who's down the pub for this one? Yep, I didn't buy the cable World Cup package (and won't be buying - it's a principles thing now). So it's off for some "jechnun" at M's place (his Ma makes the real stuff, the jechnun, not the jachnun) to be washed down with Ouzo, then off to the pub.
Prediction time: England will win 2-1.
Another prediction: I will be slightly wobbly by the end of the day.

Phil O'Sophical

I'm having some in-depth philosophical chats with O as her Corridor Land days draw to a close (4 more to go). She's an intelligent lass our O, much more so than me, innit. A free spirit who deserves a bit of a holiday after the shit she's had here the last year or 2. I'm trying to push her to Thailand / Vietnam but she's keen on Oz and Kiwi land, probably a good move on her part.

Of course, the Corridor Land shit has intensified over pitzuim (layoff compensation), because they won't tell her if she's getting the pitzuim until her last day. In the meantime, of course, they have overloaded her with assignments to squeeze out every last drop. And, of course, she will only get the pitzuim if she has been "good". Whatever "good" means. Do they really think that this type of executive bollocks motivates the staff that are staying? Come on. Another 5 or 6 inmates have given notice lately, including 2 this week that were told to clear their desks immediately since they had the balls to start their own company. Good luck boys.

Concentrating on the school appears to be my saviour, as I'm thinking about little else while stuck in front of a screen perusing our amazingly thrilling user guides...Why don't I just "up and go" and fuck the pitzuim? Good bloody question, but for now I do pretty much what I like, have a car, fairly decent pay - which, what with my school's soon-to-be expansion, will be needed in the coming weeks.

So, though O's departure may yet still trigger an escape route, the chicken-shit side of anglosaxy is rearing its head. For now. Though I'm really not sure how I'm going to handle life in C Land without her...and her free spirit has got me thinking again...

Jazzy nights

Last Friday it was down to a local moshav for some evening jazz. Not a big fan of jazz but this was great. Junior was a dude!

Sunflowers

One of the nice things about living in smallsville is the field of sunflowers down the road...

Root those evil landlords out

Pub patrols to root out any evil pubs showing World Cup games? Really, what the FUCK is going on here?

A black and white day in Yafo

Busy

Way too busy these days, loads going on. Will update here when I get a chance, coz there's some big stuff going down, innit. In the meantime, enjoy the pics, quite a few on the way...

Another sunny day in Yafo

A sunny day in Yafo

What the hell am I? #9

To free or not to free

The big story currently on the minds of most sports fans in Israel is the cable companies decision to charge for the upcoming World Cup games. Originally demanding 492 shekels (approx. $110), the deal was reduced a couple of days ago to 309 shekels. Counting on 150,000 subscribers signing up, they only managed 1,700. I don't see that number rising dramatically. Yes, I've signed the various online petitions and am generally disgusted, but is the public's refusal to sign up going to bring this price down any further? Us footie fans hold our collective breath.

Apparently, if you bank with a certain bank, you can get the package for 100-odd shekels. Feckin' bankers. As for the cable companies suing pubs and restaurants that broadcast the games, what the fuck is that all about? Bloody cheeky if you ask me, but I was wondering...what countries are charging? In England, for example, are all the games free on the Beeb/ITV?

The first England game coming on a Saturday afternoon is kinda handy. Might have to be down the pub for that one and splash out on 492 309 shekels worth of beer...just for the hell of it...in fact, watching the best of the World Cup down the pub sounds like my kind of subscription...