Down sowf

Off to Eilat for a few days, you might just catch me at the beach below, my favourite Eilat beach, snorkel in one hand, beer in the other...

And a Happy Jewish New Year to all of you (kicks off tonight with the big supper-like extravaganza)! May it be sweet-and-apple-dipped-in-honey-like (the year, not the supper)!

Macca's alright!

Well, the show was great in the end. Paul McCartney was just a few metres in front of me (OK, quite a few metres), a Beatle, a living fecking legend. At one point, he threw in some very ropey solo songs that nobody knew (one guy in front of us even fell sleep on the grass, only to wake up for the encores) and, frankly, were complete tosh. But when he pumped out the classics, feck, they were good! Hey Jude accompanied by the crowd, who were left singing on their own until the band came back on stage for yet another encore, Live and Let Die accompanied by a firework show, and Give Peace a Chance were my faves. 40,000 turned up for the show, some paid very big bucks to see this, we of course, paid absolutely nothing...though some guys got even luckier than us...

Macca, I had my doubts you could still do it, but I was proved wrong. I may actually go out and buy another Beatles CD now...and although his wishes for peace might be a bit naive, there's just something blood-tingingly amazing about seeing so many people scream and shout as one, so perhaps he ain't so naive. Maybe music is bigger and more powerful than all that politics and religion shite...

This is the opening of the show, the screams are giving me goosebumps every time...

Now it's Macca's turn...

First of all I have to say that my wife is a complete koosit (luscious babe). The koosit of all koosits. The mother of all koosits. This week she was being a very koosit kind of girl with some customers at work (oooh, that sounds a bit naughty innit) and they were so impressed with her service that they simply handed over two free tickets to Paul McCartney's show in Tel Aviv this Thursday. Well, that's my missus' version and she's sticking to it. These tickets are worth 900 shekels, so I presume the service was deluxe. Extra special. Extra koosit.

Anyway, this summer has been pretty cultural for the old anglosaxies. First it was the Stranglers and Blondie, then Morrissey accompanied by the New York Dolls and Assaf Avidan (bought his disk by the way, pretty decent). Now a Beatle. Not bad at all. Even though I'm not particularly fond of Macca, it's a night out, live music and there'll probably be some kind of beer on sale. What more could you ask for? Ah right, a koosit by your side...well, I got me one of those!

Just for a second there...

I was sitting anxiously, trying not to look too shifty. Reminding myself of that time in Blighty when the sun actually shone for a few days and I got myself a killer tan that convinced people I'd been to Jamaica for a holiday. And that time in Eilat when I overdid it and came back to Tel Aviv a rather red-faced Brit. And all those times I'd forgotten to smear some sunscreen, just because I thought I could get away with it because I wasn't one of those pale, fair-haired tourists. And there I was, thinking that perhaps this was payback time.

A nice lumpy mole had recently attached itself to my skin and seemed to be changing daily, so I decided to see the doc. Never mind that he was batting for the other side and seemed just a tad too eager for me to take my shirt off, his words that "Ah, it's nothing, I'll burn it off for you now" were kind of sweet and sexy...but next time, I'll be splashing on a little more sunscreen...

September's Homo Sapiette - Girl of the Moment

There's only one possible Homo Sapiette on this fine morning...



Yes indeed...



You knew she was coming...

Tzipi Livni, quite possibly Israel's next Prime Minister.

Now, you probably know me as not one to mix in the ol' game of politics. And especially lately, I've been completely switching off. Maybe I'm just too busy, but I just can't listen to any more stories about Olmert, about his political party and about the squabbling little bitches in the opposition parties...

But, when I get to see the cute little Tzipi Livni, something in me softens. She's not quite the same as Israel's first woman Prime Minister, Golda, the saucy little minx, but that's probably a good thing. I quite like Tzipi, even though I'm not entirely convinced I know what she stands for. But like Theo has got me almost excited about watching Ingerlund play again, then maybe Tzipi has done the same for me and the large majority of the Israeli public who don't give a shit about politics. A big maybe, maybe.

How has she done it?

Maybe it's the way she throws her hair to one side...


Maybe it's her steely gaze at the camera...

Maybe it's the way she looks at ease when mixing with true political legends...

Or maybe it's just the way she manages to tempt us in with one of those looks...

However she does it, Tzipi is the woman of the moment. I say Go Girl, I actually think she might go and do some good...

Later, Tony

So that's it. No more Tony and Carmela, no more mindless violence and no more strippers in the BaDa Bing. Damn shame. Well, it took us a while, but me and the missus finally managed to get through the last of the Sopranos DVDs this week. What can I say, ever since coming across a rerun by chance, I've been hooked. I've never even thought about buying the DVD set of a TV series before, but this was different. But after finally wrapping it all up, I don't half fancy watching it all over again...anyone got a spare couple of months they can give me?

He's a star, he's English and he plays for Arsenal!

Oh my goodness. An Arsenal player scoring 3 times for England. What the feck is going on?! Theo, we're not worthy, we're not worthy, we're not worthy...I might just be able to get excited about watching Ingerlund again if he keeps up like this...

Busy busy busy

Busy as a B right now.

School has kicked off its new year, so the annual nightmare of lesson scheduling has begun. To tell you the truth, I'm seriously thinking of selling up, because I'm spreading thin again and can't see an alternative in the upcoming weeks when I lose both my good teachers. I really don't fancy all that interviewing and meeting too many feckin' oddballs, so it could be time to hand the keys over to someone else.

I've also got a couple of freelance gigs that are just about over, but have given me a busy time. And my web empire is progressing. Just ye wait.

Line 'em up

Junior has a fascination for lining things up in perfect straight lines. It's usually his posse of cars or lorries, or plastic eggs, that get him all focused. But this time, with his tongue hanging out in pure concentration stylee, it's the forks on the restaurant table that keep him happy for a few minutes...

What the hell am I? #55

Big Bollox

There you go. There was a time when Israel took years to catch up on the latest trends and fads enveloping and suffocating the Modern World. And then, somewhere during the 90s I guess, Israel slowly started catching up. Films released in the Modern World were released almost simultaneously in Israel (in fact, they even started getting ahead of Blighty at one point). Mullets slowly disappeared. And beers other than Goldstar, Maccabi and Carlsberg started showing their faces in Israeli bars.

But then, for some strange reason, Israel decided to get real. Real as in reality. Which meant a slow catch-up process once again with the rest of the Modern World. A first run of Survivor earlier this year, which we all know was watched by the anglosaxies. Now, it's time for the turn of Big Brother. Yes indeed, in its 9th glorious season in the UK, 10th in the States and eaten up by 70 other countries, it's now time for the Holy Land version.

Can we stand the excitement? Oh yeh. Can you? Kicks off tonight...aw feck...

Jeroosalem by night

I took this shot on a recent trip to Jerusalem. If anybody knows where I took it I'd be happy to know because I'd love to go there and take some shots during the day. It's a fairly big viewpoint, with loads of Arabs wandering around, plus the ding-ding-diddle-ing of gorgeous Mizrahi music [ puke, puke ] piping out of car windows...Don't ask me how I got there because my drinks were laced with copious amounts of alcohol and the missus was driving...

Tel Aviv is changing, changing fast

Just a few years ago this skyline simply didn't exist. Not sure I'm a big fan, but it does look kind of impressive...

Bye Abie

Abie Nathan, RIP. One of Israel's more colourful characters, most noted by moi for his Voice of Peace radio station, which I spent many a night listening to in my early days in Israel (manning hostel receptions overnight, while chatting with gorgeous, nutty, drunk Israeli girls). This guy was a real pioneer of peace, and even flew for the British Air Force. Bless 'im.

I was your Grandaddy, Daddy and Murderer

The big story in Israel these last couple of days is this harrowing tale. Yes, the girl's grandfather is also her stepfather. White trash city. My heart bleeds for the little girl. I say hang the lot of 'em. Fuckers.

Feeling the sand between your toes...

August's Homo Sapiette - Tel Aviv Beach Eye Candy

OK, so this month not one specific celeb for you to drool over. Instead, a collection (not a private one, only one of these pix came from my camera and I didn't take it - most of these pix are out there on the web) of some of the eye candy that you might just get accosted with on the sandy beaches of Tel Aviv. It's August, it's baking, the Med is sparkling a few metres away, and the bikinis are getting even briefer. Oooh mama. Did you ever wonder how I've managed to stay here so long? And can you guess where I'm off to in the next few minutes...?

Rule Britannia!

OK, so I'm not catching a lot of the Olympics, apart from news highlights in the evenings. But doesn't it feel good to be British? Oh yes, we are a sporty nation once again. Third in the medals table, behind the mighty China and US of A, with some very inspiring performances. Most, if not all, of the names are anonymous to me, and there seems to be a distinct lack of personalities that were always around in previous Olympics. Names like Coe, Ovett, Cram, Thompson, and Christie, aahhh those were the days...or is it because the current crop of winners are excelling at sports not exactly geared for prime-time TV? Me, I'm a big 4x100/4x400 relay fan, I will be trying my best to catch those live.

As I'm writing this I see that Israel has just clinched its first medal of the Olympics, a bronze in the windsurfing. With that Israel surges into 69th place in the medals table. And as the guy pushed a Brit into fourth place, I shall be having words with him - his parents are friends of the father-in-law.

Not that I'm knocking Israeli sport, but this made me laugh. Arik Zeevi, Israel's big gold medal hope in the judo, on his failure to convince: In the days before the competition, I cried too much, like a pregnant woman. Yes indeed.

Hot, fast and furious

August is flying by, but tomorrow is really kicking in to high gear, what with the kids absolutely free of kindergarten until September. Junior is coming with me tomorrow to Open Spacey, Juniorette I have no idea where she'll be...I guess it's one day at a time over the next couple of weeks...[ breathe, breathe, don't forget to breathe... ]

I've been up to my neck in all kinds of shit the last couple of weeks, of which I'll briefly recap for you:

• The school had a new floor fitted. I wanted parquet, the landlord juiced her connections...and instead got the crappiest ceramic tiles in living history. Never mind, it's better than the old carpet that was there and she paid for it.
• The school had a fresh lick of paint applied yesterday. It's now completely white, like a dentists. Very cold and echoey, what with the new floor. But don't worry, I'm going to brighten up the place with loads of posters.
• Open Spacey had a couple of last minute deadlines, which I managed to survive.
• But together with another freelance gig I took on last week, last week's workload meant I was working over the weekend. No beach for me, though I did catch Arsenal kick off the footie season.
• I'm also working on a long-term plan to take over the internets thingymajib. I have a plan, which I'm slowly cultivating, usually between 12-1am most nights, but if I tell you about it I'll have to shoot you. Hopefully soon something will start moving and then the whole world will sit up and take notice! Yeh yeh.

Anyway, this place might not get updated as much as I'd like, but I'll still be around, I promise peeps.

Gosh, what a rippling pair of biceps

I've managed to make it 3 times to the gym this week. Up until now it's always been a couple of times, and some of those times were spent at the pool. Now it's all pure sweat baby. No pain, no gain. All I can say is London 2012 here I come...